Living: Don’t Let Relationships, Ruts, or Reservations Get in the Way
Since the beginning of August 2011 I have been making a conscious effort to better my life, find new passions, learn things I thought I couldn’t, and live a little. Things I hadn’t been doing. What provoked this revelation of change? As Cliche as it sounds (don’t worry I am aware), it all started with a break up. I will give you a little back story. I will also try not to let it drag on, but I can’t make any promises.
Lets go back to 9-11-10. My friends L and P, who are one of the most rad couples I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, were engaged and planning a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. At the time, my best friend who I call Booger (maybe I will explain that one in a later post), had just moved away to start a new job. I met L and P through her and was disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to be my date for the occasion. I didn’t know really any of the other people attending aside from the merry couple. I convinced myself I’d have a miserable time and decided to skip out on the party. Then at the last minute, I pep talked myself into throwing on my best dress. Next thing I knew I was on my way to the trolley. You never know who you might meet, right?
Well… I met someone alright. After the party trolley had taken us bar hoping from about 7:00 to 1:00 in the morning, everyone was either calling it a night or parting ways. It just so turned out that there was but one other single person on that trolley. Just what I was dreading, being the 25th wheel. So, being a bit discouraged about the night and having not eaten dinner, I decided not to end the night just yet. I found myself at my local bar equivalent of Cheers. No, really everyone does know my name there. Though there were a few fellow regulars still hanging around determined to make the home stretch to closing time, I was basically sitting alone all decked out and eating tuna salad and potato chips off of a paper plate. That’s when we met. Looking back, and after you understand what happened over the next year, you will see why I feel I should have taken the date we met as a warning.
This guy, who I hardly remember meeting that night, would end up quickly becoming my boyfriend. We dated for just shy of a year. The first few months, like most relationships, were a dream. He could do no wrong and we had an intense connection that makes you blind and bat shit crazy. Of course, it wasn’t long after things became a little less explosive on the love front that things began coming out. Little truths I’d ignored. I realized I was dating a master manipulator. This guy wouldn’t keep a job to save all of mankind. He was a closet addict who would peak his head out from behind that closet door more and more the longer we were together. He shacked up with me as I proceeded to assume the role of hero. You know, the -let me save you - routine. I did literally nothing for myself for a year. I had the money and the time. I had landed an enviable job and was climbing high in my personal life with no signs of stopping. I didn’t once get to enjoy that. It was only and always about him. The more I accepted his lies as truth, the stronger his manipulative skills became. It is such a shame to think of the time and money I wasted trying to help someone who had no intention of ever helping himself.
So the details are messy, and I wont subject you to more of those, but I think you get the point. After I came out of what felt like a hypnotic coma and ended the relationship, I knew it was time to do things. I didn’t know what right away, but I knew it had to be something. Anything! And so I did … I did pretty much anything I wanted. Not only did I do things that I knew I always wanted to do, but I started projects, taught myself, learned, and laughed. Here is a list of some of the things I have done in the past 8 months that I may have never realized I could do, could want to do, or needed to do. I know they might have never happened had I not learned so much from that relationship. Or even scarier, if I hadn’t ever gotten out. Maybe, just maybe, they will inspire someone else.
1. Had a girls’ night dinner party with full course meal and home-made cocktails. Danced in the living room.
2. Saw a country concert for the first time. (Keith Urban)
3. Went to New Orleans, nicknamed someone Mr. Belding, and watched the Saint’s kick some ass.
(Mr. Belding on the left. He was really a high school principal)
4. Got a tattoo while I was there *sorry mom!* – You can see what the tattoo is of here in my first post.
5. Held a baby. Remember L and P from that engagement party? Yep, it was their new-born baby girl.
6. Dyed my hair red (You can see in my picture on the sidebar of course)
7. Bought a drum set. Taught myself. Can read music and everything yo! Travis Barker and I jam all the time now.
I tried to insert a sound clip, but I am incompetent. So, here is a picture of the actual brand (Gammon) that I purchased. I would give a great review for this set especially for being a starter set. I will probably have some later posts about this and electric sets at some point.
8. Cooked, then cooked, then cooked some more. Discovered this unexpected passion.
9. Bought one of these. This began the rekindling of my flame for writing and thus….
10. I started blogging.
If you find yourself in any kind of situation where you know you are not living life to its fullest, where you know you deserve better, where you feel like you are on a sinking ship, where you know you are being taken advantage of, or maybe even if you are just simply in a rut… I only hope you can get to a snapping point and make a change. Enough is enough sometimes. And, if my tale does nothing for you, check out this post by David Kanigan. Thought provoking stuff there.
- WWE: Saved by the Bell’s Mr. Belding Headed to RAW This Monday (bleacherreport.com)
- Just What is Continuing Education? (skybluecross.wordpress.com)
- Make the Most of Your Professional Development (aicpa.org)
Posted on March 29, 2012, in Adventures, Cooking, Experiments, Inspirational, Opinion and tagged Art, blog, Career, Cooking, Food, Friends, gift ideas, Keith Urban, life, New Orleans, personal, photos, Relationships, Saved by the Bell, tattoo, Travel, Travis Barker, WordPress. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.