Rule of Three: The idea that things happen in threes… more specifically/especially negative things. Also known as the poison ivy of bad luck.

Someone needs to deliver me some calamine lotion stat, because I believe my Iphone and I just went through a bad case of this theory. This sort of thing is so familiar to me that I could feel it coming. When I initially was given the phone, it only took two blissful and carefree months before my hand-held jewel became shattered by the very clumsy hands that held it. Having received my Iphone as a birthday gift a couple of years ago, I guess it was only a matter of time before it met its fate again.

Misfortune #1 – Sitting on my balcony hammering away at my keyboard after work one day last week, I lost track of time. Exhausted and surely one mosquito bite away from West Nile disease, I decided to call it a night. My mind is stubborn and conceited in thinking I can carry more items than I have appendages. You should see me carry groceries in from the store. Making more than one trip is not an option. So there I was, juggling my laptop, wine glass and cell phone while struggling to push and pull on the lever style door handle leading to my bedroom and trying to thwart Jack’s escape attempt number one million and one. The next thing I knew, as the phone collided face down with the cement, destiny had rudely arrived in the form of a long and hefty fracture straight down the middle of my screen.

Misfortune #2 – I have been trying to successfully update my Iphone for a few months now, only to call it quits when my computer decides to deny me completion of my task. Yesterday as Jazzy and I wasted the day away on the couch, I decided to give it one more go. After all, it was the first time in a while that I had nothing better to do. I followed the steps and instructions like a CEO (or so I thought). After checking progress incessantly waiting patiently through way too many creeping load bars, it was complete. There was one problem. Thanks Iphone update. I guess I really don’t need those hundreds of contacts I had been building on over the past years. This will really simplify my life! I guess that’s what I get for updating my software directly after demolishing the hardware.

NOTE: If anyone knows what I did wrong, please slap me and then explain to me my idiocy. Thank you.

Misfortune #3 – As I was just about to cram myself deep in to my comforter last night like a foot in a boot, I proceeded to lock the door. This time there was no excuse. There was nothing else in my hands to force my grip to falter. There were no obstacles that could have doomed my grasp. As my phone again plummeted to the floor in a deja vu-ish blur, I had an epiphany that this third and final straw could only be the workings of this malevolent theory of threes.

Or maybe, just maybe, my dumb ass should have just left its protective case on and avoided drinking wine while following the update directions.

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