[What the hell am I about to do? Why am I wearing these ridiculous boots?']
The “fly” part of 25tofly is the figurative version of the word. This Saturday, I got a little practice with the literal form. Are you ready for it? I sprouted wings y’all. Not really, but I did go zip lining.
In Denham Springs, LA there is a popular attraction called Tiki Tubing. Basically you float down a shallow river and use that as an excuse to drink whole ice-chests full of beer. Everyone gets sunburned, and no one points out the fact that there are no actual restrooms on the 5 hour lazy river. It’s really laid back if you catch my drift. After all this relaxing, refilling, and releasing I suppose I went all YOLO mode. Next thing I knew, I was scrounging around my trunk for any form of close toed shoes that I could find and ultimately found myself atop a four-story high wooden platform in a bikini, designer cowboy boots, and about to ride a cable about 100 yards to
my death the next wobbly tree house wanna-be.
I should never have said YOLO. Even if I intended it to be read mockingly. I apologize.
Besides the two gentlemen I was tagging along with and that I had only known for a total of maybe two hours, there was also a family of four along for the flight. I’ll admit I felt rather pathetic that two ten year old kids were jumping off the platform without the slightest bit of hesitation while I was shaking in my boots (quite literally). To make things even more interesting, the dad of said kiddos was the ultimate dad on vacation with his goofy and excessive picture taking. The whole time his hands remained permanently fixed to his hips in the kind of stance that would make Napoleon Dynamite’s posture look appealing. The only way he could have been more stereotypically a dad on vacation is if he had sported a fanny pack and said things like “gee wilikers”.
Boots and brady bunch aside, the experience and rush were incredible. After the first run, all fear subsided. I wanted to just zip line my way back home to Lafayette. For one whole day I was disconnected, relaxed, and exhilarated. What’s next, sky diving? Someone strap me to the ground for a while before I get too out of control.
- ZipFlyer: The World’s Fastest,Tallest, and Longest Zip Line (zazenlife.com)
- Zip lines come from wild to mild (miamiherald.com)
- Outdoor interests, low costs fuel zip line craze (kansas.com)
- Zip line industry emphasizing safety in wake of accident (ajc.com)
- ZipFlyer is Tallest and Steepest Zip-line in the World (techeblog.com)