Because I can see you getting green in the face hearing about Boston this and Boston that like I am an eleven year old gushing about how I want to marry Patrick Swayze (why did you leave me!), today’s post will not mention Beantown. Except for that last sentence.
Yesterday tried to break me. It tried hard. It pulled out every anvil and TNT labeled box it had and dropped them directly on top of my groggy little head. The only problem was that it didn’t quite kill me. I was as resilient as the never-dying cartoon characters, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t look and feel like complete roadkill. It all started with a lack of sleep due to a cold/sinus infection/lupus/cancer or whatever other illness the web’s symptom checkers told me I have.
Somewhere I read that riding in an airplane can make you more susceptible to sinus issues. Judging from the delightful time I had on my plane rides, and considering I feel like my ears are still popping, I think I’ve nailed the culprit. At least I don’t really have lupus.
All day I could barely breathe, and when I did actually manage to inhale a solid breath, the tiny lion in my chest let out a menacing growl. Immediately following this foreboding sound was a violent and hacking cough that successfully managed to frighten and disgust my co-workers, but at least it would put the lion to sleep for a few minutes.
Anyway, to save time and your eyes from more blocks of text, I will list the snowball of unfortunate events that unwound throughout the rest of yesterday that turned me in to a belligerent Ren. These events also lead to me ending my day in bed, in my underwear, crying and washing down three-day old left over fried rice with Jameson. I wouldn’t even let the cat come in for cuddles, so you know it was serious.
- Some strange man felt-up my favorite coffee cup. I think he sniffed it too.
- I failed at finding an awesome apartment to rent for my up coming New Orleans getaway despite searching all day.
- People kept telling me I looked angry. I assume this means the opposite of lovely and beautiful and good smelling.
- A large, grouchy bug invaded my driver’s seat while I was approaching 50 mph on the highway.
- I drove the entire way home with my torso glued to my steering wheel and my ass disconnected from the seat.
- Many potential wrecks
- I couldn’t find and assassinate aforementioned bug, so now I will be paranoid of its return indefinitely.
- Jack tore up the entire toilet paper role. This may or may not be the real reason there was no cuddling.
Should I have just directed myself over to #firstworldproblems? Maybe so, but you and I are in somewhat of a relationship. That means that I get to tell you all of the good and the bad, right? What do you mean you need space?
Now that I have evened out my blog with some good old fashion negativity and self-pity, why don’t you tell me what was not shitty about your day yesterday?
Related articles … AKA super relevant third link about lion pee!
- Fatigue and Cognitive Dysfunction (jenlynn401.wordpress.com)
- Victim of apparent shark attack in Boston hospital (bostonherald.com)
- Mountain Lion Urine Is On The Menu At One Massachusetts Restaurant (newsfeed.time.com)