First World Work Problems
I admittedly chose this photo solely based on the attractive male in a suit… in a pool.
Parts of this post are hypothetical. Maybe.
I read a post today by Lament’s and Lullalbies that I thought was brilliantly human, which is odd, because I know internet people aren’t people at all, they are aliens. Cool aliens, but aliens nonetheless. Don’t worry, I am not phoning the MIB… yet.
Her post addresses the human condition of struggling between making ends meet and making your dreams come true. She writes in a way that is synonymous with the mosh pit of a thought process that I assume begins in most people’s minds when thinking about these issues. Everyone has an ideal career, or two, or three, or is at least on the search to finding one. Everyone also faces the ongoing obligation to provide for themselves at the same time. It is all a huge balancing act and we don’t have the proper equilibrium. In my case, I am just drunk.
We have to work. Most of us have to work jobs we are less than enthused about because: money. All too often people become barricaded in these jobs for years and years of monotony and turmoil. Why? Scum bag employer syndrome.
This scenario includes two pawns: the dreamer (also known as you) and the force you think you can duel but ultimately are powerless against… the scum bag employer. Here is how it goes:
You: I need to quit my job and pursue my dream of becoming a renowned [insert your dream here] if I ever want it to really happen. That’s right, no more wasting time. I make good money, but it’s not enough worth enduring the bored/grumpy/blase feeling at the end of every work day. I’d rather take a pay cut in exchange for fulfillment. I am going to do this.
Scum Bag Employer: Oh yea? Really now? You are finally going to make the plunge? How about I go ahead and give you a hefty raise at the precise moment that you get the balls to leave me. Oh yea, and that 401K to which you just began to contribute? You won’t get to keep even half of it if you bail on me in less than a year. You are getting your own office too. With a real live plant. Looks like you will be bringing the fruit cake to this year’s Christmas bash after all. See you Monday!
You: Well fuck.
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Posted on September 20, 2012, in Business, Humor, Inspirational and tagged 401k, blog, Blogging, business, dreams, Employment, first world work problems, Funny, how does 401k work, how to go for my dream job, human condition, humor, job incentive programs, job perks, Meme, passion, quitting a job, scum bag employer, work, Writing. Bookmark the permalink. 22 Comments.
and there in lies the conundrum. how to manifest and stay objective in one foul swoop??
Will we ever figure it out? Thanks for reading and for commenting. Hope you return.
I will!
I have a 27 year old friend who quit hsi job to pursue his life goals. Three months later he had to move in with his parents and it took nine months to find another job. Better make sure you can afford it before you take the plunge.
That is the inescapable fear that holds a lot of people back. I think if you plan well enough and don’t act hastily it can be a wonderful thing.
As always, you make me laugh a bunch and also scare the crap out of me as I plan my future.
Oh man, that is SO not my intention. The scare factor that is, not the laugh factor. I guess it is sort of a right of passage to be blindsided by adulthood, I am just giving you a sneak peak. But seriously, don’t be scared. It has more awesome factors than shitty factors. And, from what I’ve read so far, I think you are going to be more than fine
I guess that makes sense. I think you owe me a post describing these “awesome factors” though
Challenge accepted!
Well…Fuck. You made me smile. I’ve been working for myself for almost a decade and am now looking to return to the work force and a “scum bag employer”. Thanks for putting it into perspective lol. You have a wonderful way with words and I mean that seriously.
That’s really swell of you to say! Glad I could remind you what you are getting yourself into, but maybe not
. I’d love to work for myself one day.
When the time is right you will know it, and you’ll jump. And you’ll shine B!
Appreciate that a lot!
“Parts of this post are hypothetical. Maybe.”
I love this beginning…
“You: Well fuck.”
And the ending wasn’t too shabby either!
Love to hear this!
Wah – if only I had a job for this to be my life >.<
Yeah, I titled this post as I did because it ridiculous to complain about having a good job period, but it can get overwhelming deciding how long to stay and when to go for your true passion. Logic vs. the heart always!
True Story
So freaking true.
So much funnier than my post. And sexier. Hello, suited pool man. “Scum bag employer syndrome” is really, really good. You nailed it. They also have a knack for brainwashing you into thinking they’re the only kind of boss out there (at least for us ungrateful dreamy types).
May you be blessed with a job of plentyo. Plentyo money, plentyo respect, plentyo passion, ad nauseum.
Plentyo thank yous for you!!
Wahhh! This is my life!!