Oh, so you thought my obsession with men’s long johns was a lie? You were sadly mistaken.
If you don’t already know about Robert Hookey’s new book The Bellman Chronicles, you fail at internet, reading, and life. Just kidding… or am I?
I have been following his blog, You’ve Been Hooked, for quite some time now. The Hook handles his profession very seriously but knows when to poke fun at all that comes along with it. His hilarious takes on the wide variety of characters and situations he encounters on the clock as a Bellman are always a pleasure to read (to put it simply). So, when I read that he published a book, I knew I had to check it out.
If you want me to get all mushy about it, I’ll say that I look up to him as a writer and think he is generally an outstanding human being and shit. He also is one of my top commenters/cheerleaders. It took me a while to get to it on my to-do list, but I finally ordered a copy which came to my doorstep last night. I’m considering it a Chrsitmas-in-October present to myself. You should do the same.
I’d also like to give a present to you while I am at it. My gift comes in the form of a recipe, but you will have to read my little story first. Get excited.
Last week I wrote a reenactment of sorts about my family’s holiday dinner traditions. It painted a heavily sarcastic view of my family there, so I’d like to share a differnt family holiday tradition with you that wavers more on the side of endearing. But, you aren’t allowed to feel all sentimental, okay? This is a humor blog.
I always remember my mom adoring the fall. She is the decorating type and our home always looked like a picture out of Southern Living and smelled of cinnamon spice candles come October. My mom wasn’t a huge cook or anything, but for some reason I also always remember her in the kitchen. She liked to bake cookies particularly. And fried chicken. I feel like I was always at her side like a panting puppy waiting for scraps of home-made cookie dough to fall or for the chance to lick a spoon or two.
There was one particularly unique treat she made for the family every year in October. Baked pumpkin seeds. If you possess the right taste buds – ones that get off on all things salty, crunchy, spicy – these will have you tearing up your mouth in no time. I suppose my infatuation with baking the tear drop shaped snacks each year credits itself to the nostalgia surrounding them. Plus, you can’t buy pumpkins year-round. It is akin to my excitement over a seasonal beer or crawfish in the spring. I hope you give them a go.
Official and Tedious pumpkin Seed Baking Process:
Disclaimer: You will not grow a pumpkin in your stomach upon consumption. If you produce a bulging belly post consumption, you are pregnant. Or fat. Congratulations.
1. Purchase pumpkin(s) – I usually need a wheelbarrow for this step.
2. Remove pumpkin tops with knife – this step should not be completed while drinking alcohol.
3. Play with gooey orange pumpkin flesh until satisfied – throwing pumpkin flesh on unsuspecting family members is optional.
4. Remove seeds and rinse.
5. Spread seeds on foil in a baking pan and spray with spray butter – note that this is the only thing that spray butter should be used for ever.
6. Sprinkle seeds with Tony Chachere’s – for you Yankees that means seasoned salt.
7. Bake at 350 for twenty minutes, take out and shake around, then bake for twenty more minutes.
8. Bask in the glory of your creation by eating all of the seeds in one sitting.
Despite what may look like a bulge in my long johns, I swear it’s me and not Joe. See!
Related articles
- Pumkins,Pumpkins and More Pumpkins. (savedollarblog.com)
- Roast Pumpkin Seed & Toast Pumpkin Seeds | Pottery Barn (potterybarn.com)
- Pumpkin Fondue…Baked in a Pumpkin! (brit.co)
It is truly a great and helpful piece of info. I am happy that you simply shared this useful information with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for reading! Hope you stick around.
I don’t think I made myself clear, Becca: your support couldn’t have come at a better time! Mu inner demons have been weighing me down and seeing you holding my “love letter” to the hospitality industry was just what I needed!
By the way, you look quite fetching in your long johns – bulge notwithstanding…
I am glad I could brighten your spirits. You deserve it. I think it also helped me. I needed something tangible to remind me it can be done
.
I hope you enjoy my first attempt at publishing, Becca; I’ve been taking a beating in some quarters! You’ve always been an outstanding cheerleader for my team as well, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough.
Sadly, I’m only on sentence one and apparently I fail at life… eek! Gotta get on that internet stalkage and find out about… *scroll up to re-check the name* Robert Hookey!
So now that I took a couple more minutes to continue reading, I now know how Robert Hookey is! See, no internet stalking necessary ^.^
And thank you for the yankee translation for seasoned salt. I would have been lost.
And I snorted when you called people fat. ^.^
Yes! I got a snort! Excitement!
Get it together Jillian
Becca, I decided to try out this recipe as it sounded delicious. I followed all of your instructions, added all of the ingredients you required and when I to shake them as you instructed, the pan exploded in my face! What the hell?
Shake it once you’re okay. Shake it twice that’s fine. Shake it three times and you’re playing with yourself Tim. I thought everyone knew this!
but what if i WANT to grow a pumpkin in my stomach?
In that case you need to eat them raw … with some fertilizer. Good luck! Note that pumpkins take offense to being called “punkin”.
if i paint a cute face on one, then can i call it “punkin”?
You will have to take that up with your pumpkin… they all are so picky and patchy.
picky and patchy. nice!
Just trying to keep you around with my wit attempts !
attempts? nah. successes. but that’s not the only way to keep me around. damn, i’m shallow.
Nothing I didn’t already know. I still value your shallow ass presence.
i like the long underwear fetish. i used to love wearing those when i was a kid, but i was always terrified of someone knowing i was wearing them. today, i’ll have kids come to school with their sponge bob pajama pants hanging out from their regular pants. and i’m talking about 14-year olds.
They are just so comfortable. I can’t get out of them when I am home. I don’t take it as far as wearing them in public though (excluding the internet) like those rebel kids you speak of.
those rebels are sometimes 15 years old in a 7th grade class with the mentality of a really angry 10 year old — wearing sponge bob pajamas.
You are SO brave.
i think that was sarcastic. if so, it’s fitting.
Totally serious, I mean, Spongebob has so many dark undertones to his character. I wouldn’t be surprised if those kids are planning to beat you half to death with some live barnacles or something. Be careful Rich. I don’t think I could go on blogging without you.
i think that was sarcastic too. reminds me of a “big bang theory” episode when sheldon was learning about sarcasm from penny. he’d ask her if what she’d said was sarcastic. she’s say, “nooooo, of cooourse not.” and then he’d have to ask if that was sarcastic.
as for barnacles – i’ve dealt with worse. i had a kid bring a gun to class once, but the idiot brought a small rifle and it was sticking out of his backpack.
Okay, this is totally NOT sarcastic at all. Be careful. My mom used to be a teacher and she had her fair share of angry students with neglectful parents bring all kinds of weapons to class including butcher knives.
ouch. when the kid put his backpack on the floor, i took it and put it behind my desk. he got scared and went to the window, three floors up, and stood ready to jump. i said, “wait. look down. do you see a red car?” he said no. i said, “okay, get out your math books and your homework…” the kid felt kinda stupid and sat back down.
There should be more teachers like you.
i hope a few more show up because i’m done with it. thanks very much – unless that was sarcastic. see, you’ve got an ultra-sharp wit, and that causes me to wonder what things might be sarcastic. but even if so, i wouldn’t take offense to it because i know it’s all in good fun.
Serious
i’m getting that vibe. thanks miss. happy almost friday.
My dad used to bake pumpkin seeds too! I could make them myself, but now that I’m moving back in with him I think I’ll manipulate him into doing it. Muahaha.
Is Tony Chachere’s really a thing?
Everything is better when someone else makes it for you
. Yes, Tony’s is more common than salt where I am from. It is the best Cajun seasoning in the world! You can put it on literally anything and it will taste killer.
“This is a learning AND friendship adventure.” -Tracy Jordan
I swear that I wrote my fall post before I read this. I guess we were both nostalgic today haha.
Oh, and the pumpkin flesh throwing? Not optional.
Now I am definitely throwing it on you should we ever meet in reality.
I’ve never eaten Pumpkin, Becca, so think this may be the year to try it.
However, I have seen that book before… the more times I see it, the more I want to read it. It must be a sign…
Really? Not even pumpkin pie? You have two things to add to this year’s to-do list. The Hook is kind of a big deal
.
No – we don’t tend to have pumpkin pie over here… and I’m hearing a lot about that lately as well! Hmmm…