Hurricanes Make You Look Skinny

ocean makes my butt look smaller

If you don’t have a beach handy, then just saran wrap that thing. People do this, right?

This Saturday I forced myself to attend my friend’s Halloween party. I had been looking forward to going all week, however when the day presented itself, I felt less than motivated to get dressed up and trot around a party. Plus, the temperature conveniently dropped to a breathtaking forty something at night over the weekend. That’s almost subzero. That’s like dry-ice cold. I know science.

Had it not been for the heating powers of Jim Beam, I surely would have gone into shock or hypothermia or developed frost bite or something equally as dramatic and over exaggerated.

While hiding in the bathroom to regain feeling in my legs, I stumbled across this purely decorative had towel hanging out of the towel closet like it was drunk. Silly decorative hand towel, you don’t go there. I have not a single picture of me and my friends dressed up at the party, but I sure can deliver a picture of some inanimate and insignificant object. It’s not even a Halloween towel for shit’s sake!

At least I could find some use for my unrelated party photo. It’s for you people who are dealing with Sandy and her wrath right now. Don’t forget the pros of the colossal hurricane coming to a shore near you. You (and your bum) will look petite and attractive next to that thing. Not that you weren’t already.

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About becca3416

I am a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned business student. While I graduated college with a degree in Marketing, I currently work in Safety for an oil field company. Sadly, I do not even own a hard hat. Up until this point, I have followed the path set out for me that was promised to lead me to success. What I did not do, was take the time to figure out what my definition of success is. Having lived in Louisiana my entire life, I am utterly fixated on my goal of eventually moving somewhere new (preferably far) while pursuing a career in writing and/or social media marketing. I believe one of my callings is making people laugh. Although I think I can play the drums, I cannot and will not sing in front of humans. Don’t ask.

32 thoughts on “Hurricanes Make You Look Skinny

  1. Honey Badger flew into New York saturday “just for a few days” to go celebrate his new job offer with his little brother. Worst. Timing. Ever. I’m getting live updates. He saw a car float down the street. Saw some transformers ‘splode. The lobby of is brother’s apartment building is in 4′ of water. And he and his brother are sitting in said brother’s apartment “getting hammered and playing pictionary by candlelight.” This is, of course, after they stood on the roof for an hour to watch the power lines throw sparks.

  2. I mean women can saran wrap it up – but I recently had a discussion with a guy friend recently about how if he ever went out with a chick and once the clothes came off it turned out everything was created by: butt-suck-in-stuff, miraculous bras, and corset-like-tops – he’d be incredibly disappointed.

    So I think I’ll just wait for HUGE disasters, and go out then and look petite naturally, just like you suggest ^.^

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