Fine. I’ll write a Halloween post.
Here is my trick, now give me a treat (That means you Tim).
Actually, this post was sparked by The Roller Giraffe and inspired by Halloween, but is really just about candy in general.
I have never been a candy fanatic. I enjoy chocolate from time to time, and I will have a Twizzlers binge once every five years, sure. In totality though, I always was pretty indifferent towards most of it. I said most of it. The following candies were exceptions to the rule for one reason or another.
Now and Later Candy – This was a typical case of wanting what you can’t have. First of all, eating Now and Laters leave your mouth stained and tasting like the selected flavor for hours (hence the name?). There isn’t enough water in the world to unstickyfy your mouth. Then there is the whole task of removing the pieces that become fused to your molars, which occurs simultaneously upon the slightest contact. They are truly an undesirable candy choice for practicality. Still, upon discovering those small blocks of sugar cement, I was always overcome with desire simply because I was forbidden to eat them. You should have gone with a little reverse psychology on that one Mom.
Now and Laters are also widely recognized as a common teeth molding putty alternative.
Werther’s Originals – I once befriended a neighbor kid because her mom kept Werther’s Originals in full stock year round in a generously sized crystal bowl in her living room. I didn’t even get along with the kid, and her mother kind of scared me with her monotone voice and general disinterest in everything. I wasn’t going to let that get in my way though. You better believe that my hooked-on-butterscotch ass was knocking on her door every chance that I got. I am not proud of this time in my life.
Everything I thought I knew changed when I grew up to learn that the candies were not handmade and individually wrapped by some famous butler named Mr. Werther.
Peanut M&M’s – In high school, we were allowed to buy concessions at the end of each lunch period. There weren’t a plethora of options, but I do remember peanut M&Ms being the only candy that I would tolerate. I say tolerate, because I never really wanted to buy concessions. I had ulterior motives. I subjected myself to buy candy every day at exactly 12:35 pm in attempt to place myself in line behind my high school crush. Then I started getting chubby from all the M&M’s and blew my chances with him anyway. I was pretty smart.
How I imagined myself in the concession line.
NOTE: I have changed a lot since those days. For example, I am definitely not still going to the gym five days a week for a record-breaking eight weeks in a row in hopes to have an encounter with some boy in 301.
Pop Rocks – Everyone knows that pop rocks are cool, because they feel like a mini firework show in your mouth, minus the fire. It wasn’t until college that I heard of a much different manner in which these candies were imitating fireworks… in the bedroom. Apparently, the hot thing to do was to sprinkle some rocks on your girl’s lawn and start mowing. I tried to be subtle there. If you are still confused, fire up the Google search. What am I your sex ed teacher?
NOTE AGAIN: For the record, I was never cool enough to test it out, but I do enjoy the intended use of pop rocks. However, this doesn’t mean I won’t get a shit eating grin when I see them in the store.
Then there is always this. Payback is a bitch Jack!
I have had my fair share of candy obsessions, but mostly my kind of candy is adding blue cheese to my salad, drinking whiskey instead of a glass of wine, or dipping my french fries in honey. Everyone has their own indulgences. What are yours?
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
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Please, Becca, stay away from men with lots of sweets. There are special registers for people like them. The ones who like to do that sort of thing with Pop Rocks have their own filing cabinet.
Yikes. Am I going to have to start asking about this on first dates now? It’s getting scarier and scarier out there.
Definitely do that. I love that you implied that if you adopted this line of immediate questioning there would be several first dates. Bravo.
You need to look up Tablet. It’s a Scottish delicacy made from sugar, condensed milk, sugar, vanilla flavouring, sugar, a small amount of normal milk, sugar, butter, sugar, and did I mention sugar? One receipe I found online said “not part of any calorie controlled diet”. It’s delicious. It sort of disolves in the mouth. And is also really bad for you. I can eat lots in one sitting, which is also incredibly bad.
I used to eat powdered sugar straight out of a bowl when I was younger like a mini scar face and minus the illegal drugs. I would probably devour something like that!
I worked in a restaurant when at uni. I’d occasionally “acquire” some sugar cubes to eat. I liked the brown sugar ones best!
Mmm. Brown sugar is delicious.
Very “sweet” post, Becca!
BTW, have you finished the book? I can handle any constructive criticisms; believe me, I’ve taken a beating or two over the last few months…
Thank you sugar
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Unfortunately, I haven’t finished it. The end of the year always seems to get insanely hectic for me. I WILL be finishing it though and with that you will definitely get my feedback. Promise!
No problem! You’re busy being young and gorgeous…
If you do the poprock thing, please make sure that you get agood video. Happy friday!
You crazy woman you!
Jack stahp! Next time, seriously. You’re the one who is the evil genius.
OH! You meant a video of Jack! I thought you meant… well nevermind.
I plan on playing all kinds of tricks on him this weekend. I am buying a harness. It’s time he learns to be a dog. Muahaha.
Yeah, i must’ve missed something there. Will have to go back and read again
In grade school I was once a “faux-pal” to a girl because her mother was the best cook! I was always hanging around hoping that I’d get a taste of whatever it was she was making. I used to love Snickers … still do, but I don’t touch candy anymore …
I had a few faux-pals for that reason. No judgement here
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wow! I gave you a real “like,” it wasn’t Lyker. Because I never met anyone who claims to actually like Now & Laters! Those are NASTY.
A real like? For me? You are too generous. Here, have a free life time supply of Now and Laters. No need to thank me.
If I’m feeling jumpy, it’s time for black licorice. Otherwise, I love a simple good piece of bread and butter with a glass of decent wine.
That sounds wonderful right now actually.
Did your high school crush ever notice you gained weight? “Hey maybe you should layoff the peanut m+ms.” Also I heard somewhere that champagne also has the desired effect that *Ahem the pop rocks do. FYI.
I don’t know if he noticed the chub, but he did eventually loan me a quarter once. I assumed that meant we were married.
Oh, and thanks. You reminded me of a post I have been meaning to write about Mr. OB and champagne baths.
He loaned you a quarter? What a cheapskate, you dodged a bullet. As for OB he is definitely a character.
At the time, I thought that was pretty generous. Then again, he could have given me a rotten banana and I would have swooned.
Note to self, “If hot, becca would swoon at rotten banana.”
Fact.
I took candy very seriously in my halloween days. Now I focus on good gin, tequila and I might have a small obsession with olive oil.
Ha! I put olive oil in EVERYTHING including ice cream. They say it makes you look pretty and stuff.
That’s what I am hoping… although so far it just makes me look like an ice cream cone in skinny jeans.
Some good sentences in this one. The test of a good writer is taking the mundane and making it interesting. You certainly did that. Well done, young one. HF
I felt like you were my writing guru just then. I think I will make you my writing guru. Guru.
Thanks for that.
Guru is honored! Anytime I can help, just give a shout out! HF
dark chocolate, whisky with ginger beer, peanut butter and pickle sandwiches…mmm
Peanut butter and pickle? You’re out of control! I am interested in this whiskey with ginger beer thing though…
dude, don’t knock pbp until you try it!! add a generous squeeze of lime to whatever proportions you like of whiskey and ginger beer. best. drink. ever.
I don’t think I have ever had ginger beer. I must try to find this over the weekend. I love finding new drinks! Thanks.
you can find it anywhere. it’s non-alcoholic.
My inner Catholic school has her fingers in her ears shaking her head back and forth after reading the pop rocks thing and then my other inner Catholic school girl is saying “That’s nothing.”
I am so confused inside…
The power of Christ compels you!
Or something…
Becca,
+11 Adorkability. Take that, Timmer.
Le Clown
FUCK YEAH!
Jujy Fruits and licorice candy….yummmmmmmmm
Hmm….Pop Rocks Sex….HMMMMMMMM
Licorice? Really? What kind of animal are you?
“Hey baby, wanna do the pop rock thing tonight?” not as sexy as I thought. It sounds like a new dance to some awful hip hop song like the “stanky leg” or something.
Black licorice is the best – it’s something people love or hate (like coconut)…I don’t like the red licorice – it’s a fraud (I actually hate all cherry flavored candy).
I wasn’t saying yeah or nay to Pop Rocks Sex – just contemplating it…
“Red licorice is a LIE!!!!” – I am envisioning you screaming this and gripping a cluster of black licorice in your hand as storm clouds gather over your head.
I am imaginative this morning apparently. Coconut is yum.
That’s an accurate vision
I knew a girl who’s nickname was pop rocks she was an inspiration and when I decided to dance for $$$ Pop Rocks was my stage name. Ahh the good ole days Oh and trust me there are more creative uses for pop rocks. Pop rocks are like a low income womans ways of bedazzling her va-jay jay (vajazzling)
I dont know why I am telling you all of this. I also dont know why I am drinking a beer at 6am
Pass me a brew man!
Pop Rocks: Ghetto fabulous vajazzling
I’m a little curious about the pop rocks thing. Mostly scared though
Me too. I would imagine it would feel like bugs crawling down there. That’s vivid, but so are my brain thoughts.
I don’t think I’ll ever go there. Thanks, but no thanks. Let’s stick to spanking lol.
Save for the Pop Rocks, which I could take or leave, I don’t agree with anything on this list. Hate butterscotch, hate peanuts, hate all taffy for exactly the same reasons you like Now and Laters. The only thing I can think of that I dislike more than any of these is Skittles.
I LOATHE skittles. Taste the rainbow? More like taste the lamebow.
Well, thankfully that’s one thing we can agree on. I’m just not a huge candy fan in general. Now, cookies are another matter. I would straight up shank some bitches to get to a plate of snickerdoodles.
Shank and snickerdoodle in the same sentence. That’s a first. I’m like that about Girl Scout cookies.
Oh, Thin Mints, how you taunt me.
The Samoas get me every time.
when i was about 12 i won several boxes upon boxes of “now and later” on the boardwalk. the one that’s still there. i ate them all day, every day for about a week. haven’t been able to even look at them since. twizzlers are my favorite movie candy. ate half a bag last night in “cloud atlas.”
I did the same thing two nights ago. This is too crazy to be a coincidence. We were eating the SAME candy at the SAME exact time while watching the SAME movie. Cue twilight zone intro music.
Alright, I wasn’t watching the same movie, but that would have been kind of rad.
my movie started at 7:10 and ended about 10. i also had iced tea. sat about dead center of the theater. was pissed that i walked in just at the last two seconds of “the hobbit” trailer.
No popcorn or soda?! What kind of monster are you?
movie popcorn is gross – unless they pop it fresh in front of you.
I read that as, “unless they pop it fresh ON you”. I am thinking, “what kind of movie theaters do you go to?”.
any chance you have a trenchcoat?
Something like that.
do you *try* to tease me, or does it just happen naturally? just kidding. i’m bringing it on myself.
When I said “something like that” I really meant a polka dotted poncho.
mmmm. the kind that smells like a new shower curtain?
Exactly that kind.
tell me about the rain boots. sloowly.
I sound like a big rubber duckling.
so when you have gas, you “squeak” instead of fart?
I don’t have gas. Period.
muchos apologeticos huevos frios en la cocina.
Did you really just mention eggs in Spanish? No hablo espanol. Except that sentence. And maybe one really dirty phrase that the cooks in the kitchen of a Mexican restaurant I worked at once tricked me into learning.
los heroes!
OHHH. Little red riding hood.
I get it now. Phew
It’s really just a bow tie made of hair, but little red riding hood works too
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Wow. I have led such a sheltered life. And I don’t even have a boyfriend with whom to experiment with Pop Rocks. Sigh…
As for indulgences, I once befriended a girl in Europe because I saw her on the Brindisi ferry eating Nutella by the spoonful. Now that is a girl after my one heart, I thought!
Nothing like making besties over some hazelnut spread!
Don’t worry, I don’t have anyone eating candy off my lawn either.
Peanut M&Ms rock the house. Plus, they have peanuts in them so they are healthy.
Yes! That’s what I’m talking about! I’ve gotten a six pack before from the peanut m&m diet. People just don’t know.
+10 Adorkability.
And now I am currently working on that thing we discussed a week ago. Now that’s gotta be the treatiest treat that’s ever been treated.
Phew. Toes weird me out.
My OWN toes weird me out. I wear socks a lot.
I had to look up what a Now and Later even was. Do I live in a cave at the bottom of a well in another dimension? What’s wrong with me?
You are banned from life for a while. You can’t be walking around never having lived through the delicious torture of a Now and Later. It’s just not fair to the rest of us.
Punish me however you see fit.
Apart from Werthers, Becca, I can leave the rest. Apart from M&Ms, I’ve never heard of any of the others anyway! I’m presuming pop rocks are what we call space dust over here in’th UK… people put it on top of cakes, I believe. I’ve never tried it any other way apart from its intended use. And then only once. It hurt my ears.
Happy Halloween!
I have no idea what space dust is either! Shall we ever meet, I’ll bring you some pop rocks. Happy Halloween Tom
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I have a HUGE sweet tooth. It’s scary. At Coldstone Creamery I get cake batter ice cream with brownie, cookie dough, and reese’s cup.
Speaking of Reese’s Cups, have you ever had a s’more with a Reese’s Cup in place of the Hershey’s chocolate? WAY better. Try it.
Did you read my post? I don’t like candy!
I am only being silly, but I honestly can’t stand Reese’s. Something about peanut butter and chocolate doesn’t sit right with me. Probably because I don’t care for peanut butter
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Ice cream is a totally different story. I love it.
That’s fine. More for me.
True story: I once lost a filling due to a Now & Later pulling it straight out of my tooth. I loved those things. Afterwards, I was a little more careful with those damn cement bastards.
Ouch! It never got that serious for me, but I did choke on a life saver once. Ironic right?
Is that a roll of life savers in your pocket or…
You cheeky bastard
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I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that about Pop Rocks. Still, I love those little buggers.
It’s like popping sugar popcorn in your mouth!
Nutella. I eat DISGUSTING amounts of nutella. Like the giant bottles you see in the store? I can down one of those in a week or so. I’ve been refraining since I got home – it takes a month to go through a bottle as opposed to a week.
And I hear you on crush stalking. Definitely did my share of that
When I get a crush again – will still do my share of that 
hahaha
Since I write about it, it’s not really stalking it’s journalism. Right?
I love Nutella too. Heated up on a croissant it’s divine!
*drool*
I always liked those nights after a good long drinking rally, when I went home and popped a Tostino’s pizza in the oven, but first adding on extra cheese and pepperoni. Some nights that was the most glorious feast….and others I passed out and woke up to a burnt pizza.
I’ve woken up to burnt pizza before. Disappointing and scary!
I also add extra cheese to stuff. Lots of stuff. Okay, everything. Even my peanut M&Ms.
Yes. I have friends that work for cheese factories just for this reason.
Lucky.
I will never be able to eat pop rocks in the same way again. My candy is definitely a chilled glass of white at the end of the day. Some days it’s the only reason I get out of bed in the morning.
Taking candy from a baby is much easier than taking wine from a relaxing woman
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