The last time that I participated in any kind of gift exchanging game for Christmas was on a first date. Can you imagine that? You don’t have to. I will tell you how it goes. If you are me, that is.
My date picked me up for dinner somewhere back in December of 2008. We were supposed to go to a simple dinner. Me and him. On the way to the restaurant, he receives a phone call, which he takes, and has a casual conversation from which I infer that plans are about to change.
Date: “That was my mom. My family is having a Christmas party down the road. Do you want to go? It will be fun”.
Sure, I love meeting entire families on first dates.
Me: “Umm… I don’t know, I mean, I don’t want to intrude. They don’t know me.”
You barely know me.
Date: “Oh come on. They are super friendly. They will love you. There will be a lot of great food and presents.”
Date: “Yeah, they play Dirty Santa every year at this thing.”
As we continued down the highway, the dialogue went back and forth between him assuring me it wouldn’t be awkward and me trying to find a way to escape the moving car without looking obvious. Or killing myself. We ended up going, because I have an adverse reaction to telling people no, and guess what? It was awkward. Imagine that.
He pushed me to participate even though I hadn’t a gift to contribute. At one point I stole his Uncle’s gift of a fifth of Crown, but of course it was eventually stolen from me by a cousin of a cousin just as I thought my endurance of the night had paid off.
He went home without a goodnight kiss, and I went home with a fishing knife. How’s that for a Merry Christmas? But, you know what is not awkward, unsatisfying, and sure to leave you alone under the mistletoe? Festivus for the Pressed of Us. I am participating along with all of your other favorite bloggers, so be sure to check it out. And if my gifter (I think I know who you are) is reading, this is for you:
One last thing, don’t forget to see Le Clown’s video post today in which he bids farewell to his Movember mustache and appoints me as conductor of Bloggers for Movember 2013. It’s an honor. A true honor.
- You Are Cordially Invited! (notthehardestpart.wordpress.com)
- Festivus Guest List (notthehardestpart.wordpress.com)
- BlogFestivus 2012: a seasonal short story writing challenge (blogdramedy.wordpress.com)