It’s payday, so I got to go drop off my check at the bank: WIN
So did everyone else in the entire city, at the very same bank: FAIL
Someone tell that kid to stop staring at my soul please.
I got a really rare flavored Dum Dum sucker from the teller: WIN
I left it in the tube: FAIL
I don’t know why this excites me. I don’t even like suckers.
I ignored my better judgement and decided to eat McDonalds: WIN
I realized I have a problem with french fries when the lady in the car next to me sheilded her children’s eyes from the sight of me smashing them into my face: FAIL
The first step is acknowledgment…
I checked my WordPress app to see I have exceeded 19, 000,000 views: EPIC WIN
I am utterly dilusional: EPIC FAIL
Stupid App.
Nothing fell out of my Big Mac when I removed it from the box: WIN
I Immediately bit into a pickle: FAIL
I found honey to dip my obesity sticks in: WIN
My fingers now stick to the keyboard: FAIL
I can’t play on the internet with sticky fingers. It’s so unfair.
Remember kids, french fries should never be eaten individually, but always in groups.
It feels good to be back to silly.
Related articles
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- Portion Distortion (loveniki.wordpress.com)
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I hate days like that. Why can’t it just be win/win?
Tell me about it!
Wait, you dip french fries in honey??
Pickles are the worst. I’m sorry you bit into one. It takes too long to get that taste out of your mouth!
French fries and honey for life!
Dumb, stupid app indeed. We have chips here and wedges. You only find fries if you happen to stumble ino Maccy D’s (and goodness knows how THAT would happen. Ahem). I reckon one chip = approx five fries and one wedge = approx 10 fries. And I don’t eat THOSE one by one. Maybe I shouldn’t admit that.
You are a french fry master!
ha ha … I first looked at the views number and wondered how the comma got misplaced. Keep up the good work.
Thanks. Tricky little devils getting my all excited like that.
My Friend, I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.
http://thebottomofabottle.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/carols-candles-congratulations/
Thank you so much for supporting and inspiring me on my journey, it means so much.
Wayne
Wayne, I saw this yesterday and it made me smile. Thank you for that. I will go check it out today.
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Ha! Oh wow. I love that french fry picture. French fries are my ultimate weakness. French fry low for me is dipping the Wendy’s ones in Frosties. But I haven’t done that in a while… ahem.
JULES. I love love love Wendy’s fries in the frosty (especially since they vamped up their fries with sea salt).. To me, liking that combination is a requirement for being considered a normal human being. You rock.
I thought I was the only person that dipped Wendy’s fries in the frosty. It’s kool to no that I’m not by myself on this one
Ian, you are not alone. I also like to dip my McDonalds fries in honey. Wait, did I already mention that?
Thank you for making me smile when I was really sad about the shooting~ I needed this.
I thought I was the only one that liked to shove huge amounts of food items in their maw.
I thought about that a lot over the weekend. I am glad I could help you not feel so sad, but I think everyone was impacted by that atrocity.
Without a doubt.
Awww thats cute! We both eat fries the same way, as if the world will end if those fries aren’t in our mouth.
On supposed Doomsday, I plan to be surrounded by french fries.
Wouldn’t go out any other way… or with my dignity. Fuck it!
Reading your post this morning started my day off with a good chuckle.
Your stats…awesome win!
One fry at a time…no way, at least two…lol
Have a great day!
I am glad that you could start your day in a good mood. I am even more glad that I had a hand in that! Thanks Deb (those stats are deceiving if you take a second look
)
Fries must be eaten like if it was your first meal in ages and your last.
Yes sir. You get it. Somehow I knew you would.
Holy cats, I consider it a win if I get to eat lunch on my lunch break!
I’d bring you lunch if I could Guap! You need sustenance!
That first woman in line looks like she wants to murder you.
Run fast!
People in the bank are either really happy or really sad/angry. I think it has something to do with money and having a lot or a little.
I love you little bit more each and every post.
I love you a little more with each comment! Keep up your writing as well lady.
Following/loving Becca before she was famous and feeling pretty darn smug about it: WIN! … Here is my FAIL for today: Ran through a Burger King quick and grabbed sweet potato curly fries. I sort of set the container into the cup holder between the seats. I left the BK lot, someone pulled out in front of me, and I slammed on my brakes. The curly fries went flying all over the floor. They smelled good all the way home. Threw them into the yard for the critters.
What the? Critters?! I’m spooked.
Squirrels, raccoon, skunk, possum, dogs … it’s a jungle out there.
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
This was classic Becca! I loved it.
I hate biting into a pickle. It just ruins the whole damn meal.
Even if you were eating the best strawberry cheesecake ever? If you bit into a pickle then would it still ruin it?
No. Then it would be totally expected and okay.
19 million??!!! Insanity! Awesome. Congrats! And I love to occasionally smash obesity sticks into my face, too. Mmm.
I don’t really have that many views, more like 19,000. Look again!
Haaaaaaaaahahaha. Now I’m understanding the epic fail. Still epic!!!!!!!
Right? lol!
Oooh yeah! I see it now! Poosies!
I was already giggling when reading the post but when I saw your EPIC FAIL I started chortling. LOUDLY. Luckily, my coworkers are used to it now.
My coworkers expect the same from me! Thanks, I aim to please.
I’m just happy you like Natalie Dee comics. I can’t get enough of her. Also, have you ever had In N Out french fries? Be ready for your world to change..
I sure haven’t. If I ever see one, I am stopping for a large
!
Becca, do you like poetry?
I don’t dislike it.
What’s ya favorite type of writing?
Comedy and most nonfiction.
19 million! Well gollee Miss Becca! You sure are popular!
It’s a lie!
You should have eaten your McDonalds in the bank queue, Becca. That would have made everyone feel better!
Especially fifteen at a time… it’s how they were designed to be eaten in the first place!!!
Right? I mean they are like shoestrings! I did eat half of them in the bank line. I am not even lying. But I was in the drive through
.
Long as they were good it don’t matter. Lol
McDonald’s? Oh, Becca… how could you? I always envisioned you smelling like strawberries and camomille, not vegetable oil that’s been in constant use since 1971.
By the way, the 19 million views thing was hilarious.
Well shit. I guess I really blew it.
Ah, who am I kidding? Being disappointed in you would be like being disappointed in a kitten. It’s not possible!
You have made my dreams come true. I have always aspired to be like a kitten.
Now I can scratch your chin and rub your tummy and it won’t be creepy.
Perfect!
1) Are you sure it was your soul the kid was staring at?
2) I’m guessing you don’t like pickles?
3) How many of these question do you have to answer until your sticky fingers actually got STUCK to the keyboard?
4) When they do get stuck to the keyboard, have a coworker take a picture and post it on your blog later once your hands are free. That would be funny.
Pickles are the devil. You should check out the picture I just put on my Twitter. It is pretty funny if I don’t say so myself.
I’ll do that.
Pickles are definitely an unpleasant thing to find unexpectedly in a burger.
Green monsters!
Unless you fry them
Remind me to get individual orders of fries when we go out. Not because you have a problem. Because it’s adorable that you think YOU have a problem. You haven’t seen problem yet.
I like this. Now I know who I can call when I want to go binge eating with.
Haha! I was like; seriously!? About the 19000000 views. Then I saw the picture and I felt really dumb. Laughed my ass off at the French fries part.
*Flaboosh!* <that's a sound effect i'm working on.
Nice effect, but now you are stepping on my toes. I am sound editor, not you!
I felt pretty dumb when I saw the stats thing too, obviously.
Actually, I was presenting it you, because any input is welcome. Or “wilkommen” in German < This was totally necessary.
But I think, due to that total mess-up in the WordPress-app, the wordpress-people owe you 19000000 views now, so they better Freshly Press the shit out of the coming 1000 posts!
Agreed Daan!
Total views – total French fries eaten = win
Total views + total french fries eaten = I sit on my ass in front of the computer eating french fries too much.
does your workplace offer direct deposit?
Nope.
apparently the only direct deposit is the french fries.
I was waiting for it. You’ve done it again. *slow clap*
ok no doubt this time. slow clap is sarcastic.
Slow clap is legit.
i’m reminding myself of sheldon cooper. he has trouble getting sarcasm.
I think you tend to get it flipped. When I am not being sarcastic, you think I am and vice versa.
that’s even worse. ugh.
It’s hard to tell without tone of voice. Don’t fret.
fret? me? fret? why, why no, not at all. not as if i’m obsessing over it. not as if i question you every time you make a comment. not as if there’s a rabbit’s foot or four-leaf clover in my pocket. or a horseshoe. btw- horseshoes need to face up, like a U, or the luck will run out. t-that’s what i hear, i mean. what someone said. on the internet.
La Becca,
You are Le Clown’s protégée: WIN.
That will end tomorrow: FAIL.
Le Clown
It’s the end of an era, but also the beginning of another…
Becca,
Dude, you’ve so fucking taken off, sweetie…
I’m so very happy for you. Now how about you fly our way, and take our daughter away… I did not say this. No, I did not. I will deny everything.
Le Clown
We will stay up all hours of the night taking over. With her cuteness level, I will barely have to do any work. Even an exorcism will not be able to help the internet after we are done.
Thank you for everything, you hear me? EVERYTHING.
Love, your little blogging prodigy
Just when you think you got a hold of it, it slips away.