My phone miraculously disappeared at some point on the night of Saturday 01/26/2013. It’s whereabouts were finally recovered at approximately 6:30 pm Monday night. After I wrote this post…
Dear stranger and/or really bad friend who took my phone,
I hope you didn’t hack my Iphone security code, although it would have only taken you something like 15 million different guesses. I figure that you could have easily try 30 different combinations every minute, which means it would have only taken you a little less than a year to figure it out if the last number you guessed was the correct one. Obviously that doesn’t make any sense, even if it was correct math. But if you got lucky and gained access on your first try, there are things that you need to know:
I am not responsible for the last search in my internet browser. Any voice memos of singing are also a mystery and definitely not me. And, if you even try to tinker with my blog I will find you, and I will kill you. Got it?
Dear AT&T sales guy,
I do not usually look like a frantic homeless person. My hair was still pretty though, right? I was impressed.
I think it is ridiculous that you can not help me locate my Iphone using all of that technology stuff, but Facebook on the other hand, always knows precisely where I am and isn’t afraid to tell everyone without my discretion.
And just so you know, you probably made the easiest sale of your life Sunday morning. You can thank Jim Beam and the gay men of the Krewe of Apollo.
Dear Canes Chicken Fingers,
I have nothing bad to say about you. You were delicious, and for a brief moment while I was stuffing my face of you, I forgot about everything that I lost that day.
After writing such a dramatic post and finally finishing re-downloading all of my apps onto my new Iphone, I got the call that my phone was recovered. Shit happens.
- 30 Best iPhone and iPad apps this week (guardian.co.uk)
- Open Letter: Facebook (thedailyjorge.wordpress.com)
- How to: Create a Super Strong Device Passcode with Accented and Alternate Letters (rjmarmol.com)