My phone miraculously disappeared at some point on the night of Saturday 01/26/2013. It’s whereabouts were finally recovered at approximately 6:30 pm Monday night. After I wrote this post…
Dear stranger and/or really bad friend who took my phone,
I hope you didn’t hack my Iphone security code, although it would have only taken you something like 15 million different guesses. I figure that you could have easily try 30 different combinations every minute, which means it would have only taken you a little less than a year to figure it out if the last number you guessed was the correct one. Obviously that doesn’t make any sense, even if it was correct math. But if you got lucky and gained access on your first try, there are things that you need to know:
I am not responsible for the last search in my internet browser. Any voice memos of singing are also a mystery and definitely not me. And, if you even try to tinker with my blog I will find you, and I will kill you. Got it?
Dear AT&T sales guy,
I do not usually look like a frantic homeless person. My hair was still pretty though, right? I was impressed.
I think it is ridiculous that you can not help me locate my Iphone using all of that technology stuff, but Facebook on the other hand, always knows precisely where I am and isn’t afraid to tell everyone without my discretion.
And just so you know, you probably made the easiest sale of your life Sunday morning. You can thank Jim Beam and the gay men of the Krewe of Apollo.
Dear Canes Chicken Fingers,
I have nothing bad to say about you. You were delicious, and for a brief moment while I was stuffing my face of you, I forgot about everything that I lost that day.
After writing such a dramatic post and finally finishing re-downloading all of my apps onto my new Iphone, I got the call that my phone was recovered. Shit happens.
Related articles
- 30 Best iPhone and iPad apps this week (guardian.co.uk)
- Open Letter: Facebook (thedailyjorge.wordpress.com)
- How to: Create a Super Strong Device Passcode with Accented and Alternate Letters (rjmarmol.com)
Where was your phone?!
Out getting laid, apparently
Becca,
I left my phone on top of my car once when I went back in the house to get something. I got all the way to the on ramp before I heard something on the roof. At the very moment I hit 60 I realized what it was and watched it in the rear-view mirror as it exploded on the ground.
I thought it would funny by now…at least I didn’t to worry about those incriminating photos!
Glad it all worked out for you though!
Red (from the west coast satellite office)
“I think it is ridiculous that you can not help me locate my Iphone using all of that technology stuff, but Facebook on the other hand, always knows precisely where I am and isn’t afraid to tell everyone without my discretion.”
I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS EITHER
It’s insanity! I had nightmare about technology last night too. What is happening!? Robots are going to surly take over in the next century.
Two iPhones now.
When it rains, it iPours.
I can’t even be sad after a classic comment like that. Well done ma’am… well done.
Officially my favourite blog post of the day. And I’ve read loads too. Like…three n everything. Loved it
At first I got really excited, but then you just had to add that last part, huh?!
Thank you seriously though!
Well I didn’t want to boost your ego too much
In reality I lied about that last bit – I’ve read hundreds in the last few days as I’m trying to catch up with a backlog! It was definitely the best thing I read yesterday 
Awww shucks.
So glad to hear the phone was recovered. That is probably the worst feeling in the world when your phone goes missing. Did I read it right when I read the AT & T sales guy made an easy sale. Did you buy a new phone only to have yours recovered? Because THAT would be unfortunate!
I sure did, but fortunately I should be able to return it if I choose within 14 days. Whew!
Losing a phone is a hard thing. I’m shocked you just got a replacement, re-loaded all your apps, and were good to go. I would have mourned and fretted and cried into the milk carton that had my phone’s photo on it. Nomophobia is me!
Oh, it only looks like that from the outside. I came home, crawled into bed, didn’t eat for the rest of the day and had phantom phone syndrome all night long (that’s when you try to open apps, music, or photos that were on your old phone, only to realize you are an idiot, because it isn’t the same phone. Then you proceed to live the death over and over again).
At least you weren’t trying to ‘swipe’ your home phone – which is not a cel phone. I’ve done that.
Good to hear you are eating again.
Ha! That is too good. Classic! I just binge ate some pistachios. We all good.
Did the sales guy hit on you, Becca? It would have been the least he could have done considering how much they charge for phones these days…
He did not fully hit on me, but there was a lot of laughing, whispering, and pointing. That means he was flirting at least, right? He couldn’t have been laughing at me… RIGHT?
He was probably too nervous to hit on you; most sales guys are jittery whenever they leave mom’s basement…
Below the belt!
But accurate!
This is why I love you!
The feeling is mutual, cutie!
You know there’s an application that you can install that locates your phone remotely and can also remotely wipe the phone? Get it.
That reminds me, I need to get that installed too. That way I can safely put booby pictures on my phone. I mean..retain all my sensitive personal data.
Good to know. Well, it WOULD have been three days ago. But then, probably not since I ultimately located it.
Imagine if they’d used your phone for some really inappropriate sexting. Come to think of it, that might explain why your number’s suddenly blocked by your grandparents, grade school teachers and the staff of Trinity Church.
It wouldn’t have been anything new.
I mean..
Hey, things are different in Louisiana. I get it.
In all the right ways.
Sorry to hear that you lost your phone, got a new one, and then got your old one back. Well, I’m glad you got your old one back, Becca, although now you have two phones. One for best, and one for, well, if you lose your other one again. Forward planning – put it down to that. But hopefully, you WON’T lose your other phone and from this day forth will have two.
Clone phones is better than no phones!
Let’s hope it wasn’t one of your bad friends. If I would have found it, I definitely would have not judged you when I opened the internet. And I definitely wouldn’t have messed with the blog. I know that is. You can mess with the phone and my family but don’t mess with my blog or I will write really mean bitter things about you.
Because you’re bitter Ben and you have a blog. Did I get it right?!?!
Yeah, only I can get bitter on my blog. Or anyone that reads it or comments on it, or likes it. But that’s it.
Sounds exclusive.
Unfortunately, I have nothing witty to say here, but I’m looking forward to your fictional account of your phone’s whereabouts during its absence. It had better be epic.
Soon….
I’m waiting….
Patience is a virtue. I don’t expect you to have it.
You shouldn’t. I don’t even think I have an virtues. Hey, what’s a virtue?
A virtual person? A robot? Who knows.
I’m so confused.
This confused? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3Ntrq0AHos
Yay!! You remembered! But, no.
This confused…
Or confused like this…
Not quite that kinda confused, but this kinda confused…
NO WAY. That was the first one I was going to send you. No lie. I know what you did too. You just YouTubed “confused” didn’t you.
LMAO. Sure did.
That’s awesome!!! This one never gets old?
You can’t repeat videos! You are disqualified! I win this one!
Dammit. I couldn’t remember if I posted that before. Okay, fine. You win, but that video is still awesome.
I feel for you, Becca. I’ve lost my phone a few times, but had it back before the day was out. I hate buying phones. Our son dropped my phone in the rain once. Didn’t realize it and ran over it with the car. … You didn’t give the phone’s side of the story. Where was it? Who had it?
Ouch. That’s bad! I am sure that made quite the crunch.
Maddie, we will get the phone’s side of the story here soon enough!
I was going to ask you if there would be a post from the phone! LOL! I will wait patiently.
I’m sure it went on quite a journey, I can’t not tell it to the masses. Phones’ voices need to be heard too!
So glad your hair was still pretty, what a relief. That could have made a bad day super-bad.
Chicken fingers are better than therapy (which I’m so glad you didn’t need after such a traumatic incident). They listen, you know, they really listen
Absolutely. The fries and toast were like a little bonus as well. It really got me through, you know?
Ugh. AT&T is redonk. I’m glad you got your phone back! Being without one is the worst.
I remember being extremely dizzy and disoriented. Maybe that was the hang over, but I am convinced it was some sort of panic attack.
you poor thing. Losing your phone sucks.. And I’m sure the At&t guy thought you were a hot mess. Glad you got your old phone back. Will you now sell your old one? I could use an updated Iphone.
Maybe I will auction it off with all of those sexy cat photo shoot pictures still on it. Could be worth a LOT.
hahaha.sexy cat photo shoot pictures!? Cats aren’t sexy they’re CUTE! Also, What kind of Iphone is it? Iphone 4? I currently am rocking an Iphone -5
It is a 4. I’m old school man. Cats can be sexy too if they want. Apparently, you never saw this post.
I’ve never lost my phone but I can imagine how horrible that must be. I can imagine how absolutely horrible it must be to buy another phone and then find your old phone. Shit. Now you have two phones, one of which is useless and one of which cost you an arm and a leg. My sincerest sympathies for all the grief you went through. No human being should have to go through this shit. Really.
It’s like a horror flick in the making, right? Modern day horror.
Well, you can always sell the old phone and recoup some of your losses.
Plus, you got a great blog post out of the experience!
I think I may just do that once I see if they can transfer all my music, pictures, videos, etc.
I hope they can do that for you. It is a modern-day horror, losing the phone. Not just from the cost of replacing it, but for so many people now they have a mobile and not a land line, and it’s the only place where all their contact details are stored!
I am one of those people! I haven’t had a land line since I left home.
Well, why pay for something twice? I mean, if you have a mobile, just use that. Plus, of course, it has the advantage of being able to be put into flight mode, or switched off, if you don’t want people to contact you!
Exactly!