Dude, my blog was kind of an ass last week huh? I finally gained some sort of control. It was actually quite simple to distract my blog so that I could post as me again. I simply opened a movie containing a lot of nudity on Netflix in one tab while I wrote this post in another. Apparently my blog has a problem with the ways in which I unwind in the privacy of my own home, so in spite of my blog hijacking last week, I am going to continue my lush activities. One being the shower beer.
Beaver says… even Michelob Ultra makes a good shower beer.
My coozie says beaver on it. It’s okay to laugh. I know that beavers are totally funny animals in general and really have nothing to do with naked girls taking showers, so I understand how hilarious it is. Beaver.
Now, if you notice in the left photo, I have made sure to censor my entire shoulder and not show any of my armpit either. That would have just been a tease. Plus, I know better than to expose myself like that on the internet. The plus side is that you can still say you have technically seen Becca in the shower. No one will know it was only from my shower beer up.
What is a shower beer you ask? The answer to all of your problems. That’s what. Had a bad day at work? Wash it away while you wash down your favorite lager. Just broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Good, more beer for you and your shower. Didn’t make it to the gym today? Sweat it out under the scalding water with a Bud Select 55 and call it a day.
It isn’t just comforting in times of distress either. You can also resort to a shower beer in times of celebration. Someone bought you a free six-pack? It’s probably because you are charming and worthy, so have that first ice-cold brew under the cascades of your home-made waterfall. Had a sexy day? Make it even sexier with a shower beer. Finally quit your awful day job? Stay in the bathroom until all of the hot water is gone and down as many bottles as you can. You don’t have to wake up tomorrow!
Are you getting the point here? There is never a bad time for this ritual. This is the ultimate indulgence, and the best part is that no one is judging. Your shower head and shampoo bottle will never give you a hard time about downing that pomegranate raspberry Michelob while you scrub your guns and pecs with a pink loofah. You can even enjoy a bath beer in substitution for the shower beer without guilt. It still counts.
If you don’t drink, start drinking. Or as another alternative, grab an O’douls or maybe even a root beer and get naked. Either way, you deserve it.
ADDENDUM: This Thursday is Valentine’s Day. I am sure you are overly aware. The good news is that instead of posting some bitch-fest post, or gushing about a boyfriend, I did something much cooler and way less annoying. I got together with Adam over at My Right to Bitch headquarters, and we came up with a new tradition for the holiday. Be sure to tune in Thursday for our insane collaboration!
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I usually save the shower beer for busting my ass. Hard day working in the yard or helping a friend move? Grab a cold beer on the way to the shower. Kick ass run or hike? Same thing…
Which runs out first… the beer supply or the hot water?
Hot water. Definitely. You always stay stocked on beer when you know you are shower beering.
I’m more of a shower and cheese girl. Beer is usually a grocery shopping thing. Thoughts?
You drink beer while you grocery shop? I am digging that… like a lot.
So brilliant. Words failing. Questioning why my brain never conceived of this before. Must partake in shower beer soon or what is left of my brain will cease working altogether as a form of protest. Too late. Brain has had enough of life without …
Shower beer … *mind wanders* I wish I drank! Occasional glass of vino in the bath, but I’m thinking what works in the shower is the whole bottle thing, a glass would pretty soon fill up with water. Oh no hang on, I could take a BOTTLE of wine into the shower! Now you’ve started something.
You reasoning is sound ma’am! Improvising is welcomed!
I personally embrace shower vodka, and clearly also, an impending diagnosis of alcoholism.
It isn’t alcoholism, it is professional drinking
Becca,
I like a shower beer or 5 myself. The only difference is the shower I imbibe in is an outdoor shower. In my backyard. In the sun. It’s almost as good as a beach beer.
I look forward to you and Adam and your new tradition…
Red
An outside shower beer trumps all shower beers Red! You know what you are doing! Hope you enjoy our Valentine’s Day special
I shall have to try this next time I go on rest. There seems to be a lack of beer in the Priory, for some reason!
Haha! Wonder why?!
I think it might have something to do with this little vow of poverty thing. That and I think most of the Sisters prefer wine, cider, sherry, gin or whiskey if given the option of an alcoholic beverage.
Mmm whiskey!
Yes, we’re girls with taste!
I insisted on building a bench in my shower for this very reason. Fun fact: steam has the same kind of extra drunky effect as altitude, so a six pack is not a great idea.
I have said bench
!
I love it! I just need to go buy some beer!
Ill send you one Cheryl!
I recommend nachos in the shower. Actually, I don’t. It was yucky. I needed to take a bath to clean off the shower.
Best comment of the day. If I had a bath tub, I’d do it just to cross it off of my list!
Stick around.
I will stick!
But that’s some freaky sounding bucket list you got there. Eek-eek!
Aww it’s not so freaky once you get to know me.
yup yup yup, I usually beer in shower (B.I.S. as my friends and I have come to call it) before going out in the city for the night. Also, singing. So, beer in shower while singing.
Thank you for adding this. The only thing better than a BIS is a S(singing)BIS.
Tim ups the ante yet again!
Becca, is there anything not to like about you? You are just so…so…wait! There’s a dancing leprechaun on your beaver coozie!
Aww thanks Adam… I think? Shower water tastes like cat piss!
Like!
The other person in my place likes to get a glass of Ginja (sour sherry liqueur) to the shower, and I have to pick after him, it pissed me off.
Haha! Awww.
What if you bathe in champagne (or beer on redneck cougar night) regularly, like me? Does that make the shower beer redundant? Overkill? Too much of a great thing?
Interesting. I don’t know. I am puzzled. I want to say it is a good thing, but it sounds like liver failure may come into play.
I have a slight problem with shower beer, Becca. I don’t have a shower, but it sounds good in theory. Good to see you have taken control of your blog again.
Thanks Tom. Do you have a bath?
Indeed I do!
That will suffice
Even in the morning?
Even in the morning.
OK. I shall see what I can do…
Okay, there are words after the photos, but I’m stuck at the photos.
Damn, Becca. You really make me question a lot of things.
Like what kind of beers beavers like?
Yeah, I know, I questioned it too.
Yeah. Yeah, that.
I like a bath and purple drank. It ups the anti on staying awake.
Purple drank?!
Yeeeaaah boi!
It’s you!! Yay!
Becca, you hottie! I think I have done this before! But, it’s been a while. But I know, I’ve never had a pomegranate raspberry Michelob. Thanks for the treat.
I usually get made fun of for drinking “water” (Michelob Ultra) but I can honestly say I have never had a pomegranate anything (alcoholic beverage wise). I don’t like sweet. Thanks for reading (as always) Amy.
I went a little parentheses crazy.
Wait, so pomegranate, raspberry michelob doesn’t exist?? Well, that kills that shower dream…
It does actually Jillian. Fear not!
I used to do all my yardwork on Tuesdays. 3- 4 hours in the sun. I live in Florida. A cold beer, and a cool shower was the ticket.
Fellow southerner AND shower beer consumer. You are Flyster material for sure.
Flyster? I’m old, unhip and going on 6 years sober…what the hell is flyster?
Someone who is a follower, liker or commenter of this blog.
And I am originally from…The Jersey Shore….
Statement recanted.
I just wenton a hellava run..could use a shower beer…maybe just a shower…
(kidding)
I’ve done gin in the bathtub, but never beer in the shower. Time to up my game.
DO IT!
AH! *grabs beer and runs to the shower*
Go! Enjoy! Like I said, you deserve it.
Nooo! I’m out of beer. Can I grab champagne?
This time, but you still have to try the beer.
Thank you and I promise *bows*
Put it in a glass and it will never empty! May get a bit weaker but that is probably a good thing – lost a shower curtain this weekend to. Spooky.
When you have beer in the shower, you don’t even need a curtain. Life is good man.
We live in golden times
Dear Becca,
I never took a beer with me in the shower, during my binge years, as I would always be too drunk, and that meant I could have slipped in the shower, which ultimately means I would perhaps break a beer bottle and most importantly, WASTE beer……….
But. Love your post. Love the pics. You know the blogosphere is chanting your name today… Bloggers are in love.
Le Clown
Le Clown, at least you probably saved yourself a few trips to the hospital for removal of beer glass from your ass by loving beer too much to shower with it and potentially waste any.
I am in love back. It’s mutual, so there shouldn’t be any police reports. I hope.
Why have I never done this before? Now if only we could find a way to get our laptops in the shower too there would be no reason to leave. Ever!
I’d have to invest in a industrial strength water heater though.
You may have censored your shoulder but you positioned yourself in such a way where somebody out there could easily Photoshop you doing something far more provocative than bathing.
Is there an alternative to the shower? I’m a never-nude and don’t like getting my jeans wet. Could having a friend splash water on my face still give similar pleasure?
Something tells me that if someone was disrespectful enough to do something like that, they wouldn’t need a picture of me holding a beer to be an asshole.
You can get one of those fan mist things. That should work out nicely for you. *spritz* *sip* *spritz* *sip*
Get the gist?
“My coozie says beaver on it.”
Your opening line inspired quite the lengthy debate amongst the bellmen, Becca. Some said that you should have said “cozie”, rather than “coozie”, as the latter seems to refer to a glorious female body part. Still, everyone agreed that you’re a cutie and thosee that could whistle, did so.
In fact, guess which female blogger’s pic is now adorning the official bell desk computer’s wallpaper?
Personally, my glasses misted up, so I needed a minute before i could actually read this post… However, once I actually finished, my belief in your brilliance was reinforced. I don’t drink, but your concept sounds like fun. You’re a brave gal, Becca Cord.
Don’t tinker with imperfection.
Oh man. Koozie? Cozie sounds like cozy. I am sticking with coozie because. Just because.
I hope you were joking about the wallpaper! Blushing over here!
Keep blushing.
I wasn’t joking.
You’re lucky i didn’t post the pic on my blog with a link and a caption that reads “Want to see more? Head over to 25ToFly!”
I am a big fan of the bath wine so I will for sure need to try this.
Bath wine is a classic. Shower beer has a slightly more badass feel to it however.
I’m truly disappointed. Mic Ultra? What, are you Lance Armstrong or something? Or wait, even he knew how to party down with something stronger (read: better) that Mic Ultra…!
I was waiting for someone to hate on my Ultra. Trying to stay fit girl. I’d have loved an Abita.
Go big or go home…
I’m doing this right now at work, except without the shower and the nakedness.
If you are drinking a beer at work, you obviously have done a lot of things right in your life.
I’m totally disappointed that you don’t wear your Agent shades in the shower.
Too foggy. I can’t jeopardize my sight. I wouldn’t want to spill any beer.
I’m not suggesting alcohol abuse, but there has to be a way. You look so bad ass with the shades on that you should never take them off.
Wait until you see me and Adam’s vlog this Thursday. Shades have a special appearance.
Now I’m all excited.
As you should be. You should probably go ahead and get a change of pants now. Because of the urination.
But what if the excitement leaves with my soiled pants?
Baby wipes. I guess.
I’ll have to pick some up…
I’ve done wine in the shower. I suggest a white wine made from the Viognier grape. The floral aromas and slight tropical undertones pair well with your bar of Ivory.
What about Dove. Suggestions for Dove?
Dove’s a poultry. So I’m thinking chardonnay, but it depends on the preparation.
Hear hear! I feel genuinely sorry for anyone not doing this. The only thing missing is your lap top.
I walked into my craft room (I know, I have such a sexy life, too) this morning for a birthday card, and saw an empty bottle of champagne on the table next to the wrapping paper. I’d forgotten what had happened in there the day before.
What I’m trying to say is: Don’t be afraid to think outside the
boxshower.Some bubbly in a bubble bath. Do it.
I always thought shower beer was more of a vacation thing.
It IS the vacation.
Shower beer? An interesting concept. I’ll be sure to pass this one on to my brother. I don’t think even he has thought of this. Interesting, Becca.
He can thank me later.
My husband does this ALL THE TIME. And leaves the empty beer bottles in there on the shower ledge. Have you ever tried your morning coffee in the shower? Great way to start the day.
I sure haven’t but I think after the shower beer I will try ANY beverage in there!