I will be out of the blog arena this week for reasons which I can not disclose. Yet. So in my absence, welcome back the one, the only, Mr. Hook….
Secrets, secrets are no fun — no, actually they are.
TEN THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT BECCA.
1) Shower Beer wasn’t her first invention. She tried Kitchen Beer – she abandoned the idea when informed the beer was supposed to go in the food. Ballet Beer failed as well. For different reasons, of course.
2) Her cats have written a tell-all book. Call The Police: Our Lives With a Twisted Cord was the subject of a fierce bidding war until the cats remembered the non-disclosure agreement Becca made them sign….
3) Her favorite accessory could land her a shot at fame and fortune. Long johns were first introduced to the world in merry ole England in the 17th century, and in all that time, no one has ever really made them “sexy”. What better spokesperson for men’s long underwear than a hot, sassy, intelligent female? Watch for her Shark Tank appearance soon. Personally, I’d buy a pair of long johns with “25ToFly” embroidered on them.
4) She finds fulfillment in helping others. Becca reads to seniors. Unfortunately for her, they keep changing seats on the bus…
5) Movies stars follow her around. Scarlett Johansson shadowed Becca for a week to nail the part of Black Widow. Scarlett couldn’t keep up and quit after Becca beat up six cops in a bar… (You didn’t hear that from me.)
6) She has inventor’s fever. Three words: Kitty Long Johns.
7) She once tried to form a local chapter of “Hookers Anonymous: The Official Hook Fan Club”. Wait… that was me. My mom didn’t even show up.
8) She’s ambitious to a fault. Take her plan to bring bloggers together in person: An attempt to party hearty… or an attempt to eliminate the competition? You decide.
9) Television beckons. Becca and Miss Four Eyes have shot a pilot that features them traveling across America à la, Paris and Nicole Richie. They call it Two Broke Blogging Girls. It has a real shot, I think: there are literally hundreds of out-of-work Saturday Night Live alums that could support them. I’d watch it.
10) She Doesn’t Get Mad. She gets… well, you know. I’m sure I’ll be paying for this one someday soon.
Pray for The Hook, all right?
NOTE: Jen and I are working on hashing out the details of the Blogger Summit 2013, so hold on to your panties! An update will be coming soon. Or eventually. Or whatever.
Much love,
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- Shower Beer (25tofly.com)
- All Work and No Play Makes 25toFly a Dull Blog (25tofly.com)
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I nominated you for the Sunshine Award. I enjoy your blog and it never fails to entertain me. You can see the nomination at http://fusteratedreader.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/sunshine-award-what/
I LOVE Shark Tank! I especially love when people come up with crappy ideas and think they’ll get a billion dollars invested.
Three words: Crotchless long johns.
My mind just exploded into a million crotchless long johns. It’s perfect! To the drawing board!
Good job Hook. I chortled at #7 and Becca really really really likes long johns… That’s good to know.
ALSO SECRETS ARE NOT COOL!
They are for me.
Becca in braids. So $^%@#$%%@#$ing cute.
WEEEEE!
YOUUUUU!
I’ll say this, you’re versatile, Becca.
Ugh, movie stars shadowing you. Doesn’t that get sooooo tiring? I get it, you want to emulate the staggering excitement, glamor, and heroism of my life. Can you just not cramp my style?
Whatever you say younger, less grey Richard Gere.
I thought they stopped giving you spring break when you left school? I guess some people are luckier than others.
Bloggers need Spring Break too.
Agreed. I can’t wait to get mine.
I would totally buy kitty long johns.
My cat would hate me even more than she already does.
If you can’t beat them… make them hate you even more. I always say
.
Hook, I’m digging #9…Two Broke Blogging Girls. This has promise!
I agree!
Let’s hope a producer is reading…
They better be… for their own good.
Just don’t forget about me when you shoot the pilot.
Never!
away from bloggin? i thought you plea bargained for house arrest specifically so you can do community service by blogging about how wrong you were for those crimes that shall not be named? i guess they decided to lock you up instead. oh well. the girls on C block will love you.
I have been known to use my braid to choke a bitch.
ok. i’ll call mine a “braid” too.
HA
You’re the only white girl I know that can get away with “I have been known to use my braid to choke a bitch.”, Becca.
It’s only because we all know it is extremely untrue.
If you say so…
What’s not to love? Those braids are the cutest.
Have a good week off. Shower beer!
Thank you ma’am! Pig tails are almost as much my signature as the long johns. If my hair isn’t down, it’s in pig tails (sometimes braided, sometimes not).
I think I just heard “The Artist Formerly Known as ..” swoon with this comment.
Have fun Sweetie
ps. That long johns business idea is mint. How *do* you buy them now by the way, Becca? Surely not in a real store?
My first pair of long johns were stolen from an old boyfriend. I’ll admit, but since then I actually have purchased a few pairs in the store. They suffice, but I totally think I need to start my own line.
Hmmmm…
You really need to date guys whose long johns you can’t fit into. Strange!
I am going to just have the special made. How’s about that!
Pigtails and long john’s, sounds like a good title for a book.
*writes down notes*
I’ll keep you in my prayers – but, you reap what you sew, as they say. Hmm, since I was laughing through this whole post I guess I better be watching my back too.
Good call man!
Haha! I loved this, Hook! Rudeness of the seniors though. I mean, they should be glad that SOMEONE is willing to read for them or ramble about inventions or showing a variety of Long Johns…hehe.
Lovely Becca, have a good week!
Thanks lady. I will be back with the scoop before you know it:)
I pictured you going *poof* like a genie
I hope your week off is productive, Becca.
Thanks again for letting me hijack your blog to pay tribute to your glorious beauty, humble, giving nature, and general awesomeness.
But of course! And thank you to the moon and back!
I’ve always wanted to go to the moon. Thanks!
I would be proud to be part of Hookers Anonymous. I’ll even wear the t-shirt
As for Two Broke Blogging Girls, we should work on our theme song!
Can it please be something from the 90′s?
Number 4 made me howl.
My personal favorite is #2!
Hahaha. And poop.
Return to us safely.
You know it!
You have been added to my prayer list. Right after Taylor Swift.
She needs it more than me. Thanks!
Oh wait… you were talking to The Hook. Right.
I have to agree with that!
I totally support Kitty Long Johns. Although I don’t know how trilled my cat would be having me force him in such an awesome invention. Hmmm…
It’s a skill you have to hone Amber! (P.S. please send me your e-mail again, I read it and when I went back to respond it was gone. Vanished!)
I’ll work on it-he hates being dressed up! I’ll re-email ya later today when I get home.
Love the picture of Becca with pigtails! Although it does slightly remind me of Britney Spears in “Baby one more time”… In a good way, I promise!
I actually took this after going to the grocery store last night. The girl at the counter told me I look like Donna from That 70′s Show. I guess I could see it. Minus like 6″. That chick looks tallllllll.
I don’t even know what “That 70′s Show” is!! I’m probably just jealous because whenever I put my hair in pigtails, I look rather dumb.
Aww, doubt that! Everyone is cute in pig tails. It’s like a law of science.
My hair is very fine, so whether it’s just tied or whether it’s plaited, it just looks like two limp rodent tails coming off the back of my head. Which, I can promise you, is not a good look!
Well if nothing else, it gets it out of the way!
I usually resort to one plait and then pinning it up on the back of my head. I do get wispy bits which are really annoying, but short of shaving my hair all off, there’s nothing much I can do about those! Plus I think pigtails might be frowned upon in combination with the habit. I don’t know, but I don’t really want to find out the hard way (ie by trying them and then getting told off).
I have the wispy condition too (you can see them in the photo actually!).
Hairbands are probably the way forward to keep them under control, but I rarely have time to remember that in a morning when I’ve just had to argue with my hair to get it into a plait in the first place!
Hahahaha! Hook, you are hilarious.
I try! It helps when I have great material to work with!
AH HA! The meet up is a diabolical plot? Or will she be dying all our hair red?
Everyone is coming out of this thing a carrot top if I have anything to do with it. Sally’s beauty supply here I come!
I like the Torrid collection of un-natural reds, I don’t mind a pre-strip (hair color, hair color!) before a post-dye.
We got this Denise!
Whoo hoo! I can ride your coat tails of awesome redness and bask in the glory of being associated with Becca… Do you think David Bowie will show?
I already talked to him, and he is going to push some things around.
I think I LOVE you~ don’t stand behind me if I’m eating doughnuts.
I, for one, would totally watch Two Broke Blogging Girls.
It’s a fool proof plan! Or a plan for fools. One of the two.
Also. I think I know the secret. Maybe. I’m putting the pieces together.
You’re a smart cookie. I am not surprised! Shh.
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A lovely guest post.
For a lovely lady, right?
Thanks loves.