TEN THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT BECCA.
1) Shower Beer wasn’t her first invention. She tried Kitchen Beer – she abandoned the idea when informed the beer was supposed to go in the food. Ballet Beer failed as well. For different reasons, of course.
2) Her cats have written a tell-all book. Call The Police: Our Lives With a Twisted Cord was the subject of a fierce bidding war until the cats remembered the non-disclosure agreement Becca made them sign….
3) Her favorite accessory could land her a shot at fame and fortune. Long johns were first introduced to the world in merry ole England in the 17th century, and in all that time, no one has ever really made them “sexy”. What better spokesperson for men’s long underwear than a hot, sassy, intelligent female? Watch for her Shark Tank appearance soon. Personally, I’d buy a pair of long johns with “25ToFly” embroidered on them.
4) She finds fulfillment in helping others. Becca reads to seniors. Unfortunately for her, they keep changing seats on the bus…
5) Movies stars follow her around. Scarlett Johansson shadowed Becca for a week to nail the part of Black Widow. Scarlett couldn’t keep up and quit after Becca beat up six cops in a bar… (You didn’t hear that from me.)
6) She has inventor’s fever. Three words: Kitty Long Johns.
7) She once tried to form a local chapter of “Hookers Anonymous: The Official Hook Fan Club”. Wait… that was me. My mom didn’t even show up.
8) She’s ambitious to a fault. Take her plan to bring bloggers together in person: An attempt to party hearty… or an attempt to eliminate the competition? You decide.
9) Television beckons. Becca and Miss Four Eyes have shot a pilot that features them traveling across America à la, Paris and Nicole Richie. They call it Two Broke Blogging Girls. It has a real shot, I think: there are literally hundreds of out-of-work Saturday Night Live alums that could support them. I’d watch it.
10) She Doesn’t Get Mad. She gets… well, you know. I’m sure I’ll be paying for this one someday soon.
Pray for The Hook, all right?
NOTE: Jen and I are working on hashing out the details of the Blogger Summit 2013, so hold on to your panties! An update will be coming soon. Or eventually. Or whatever.