To everyone else, please accept my new look and bulging crotch as an apology. Sorry Rich. Am I ruining your session?
None of this matters of course, because I am still basking in the glow of my own little session. The past two nights have been an ongoing threesome between me, my TV, and my PS3. All of my buttons were pushed (literally) and all parties reached their checkpoints, if you know what I mean. All I know is that I am glad it is finally the weekend, because these late nights aren’t doing anything for my complexion (as you can see above).
On another less weird note, Jillian Levi is at it again. She won a bunch of those awards and mentioned me as a nominee for this thing:
Like with the last award someone tossed down to me, I won’t participate in paying this forward, because… it takes too much time. I am just being honest here. Plus, I wouldn’t want people thinking I am actually a decent blogger who helps encourage others. I am a hitman now god dammit. Read the rest of this entry
Following closely to the theme of my last post, I present Baby Shower Pinnuendo – a post that has me questioning why I can’t get my mind out of the gutter as of late (I think it could possibly have something to do with me recently following Kyle Mew’s blog).
Maybe you will remember a while back when I explained the oddities of planning two very different events at the same time. One of those events was Booger’s baby shower. Nearly half of my life savings and one very confusing stint in the baby isle later, the baby shower preparation is over. This coming Saturday, all of my efforts will hopefully come together to make one baby-rific party, despite me still really having no clue what I am doing.
As I finished putting together game supplies this weekend, I
desperately accidentally began drinking a margarita. It may have contained an extra shot. What you will read next, is the result of mixing these two activities.
Jokes are skeleton keys to manipulating a multitude of situations. People use them to ease awkward or uncomfortable conversations or experiences. Marketers use them to capture customer attention. Even someone as serious as the President uses jokes (even if it is poorly executed). Opportunities for jokes are everywhere, so it makes sense that they are abundant.
I personally cringe to see a good sexual joke go neglected. Luckily, my friends find this wildly entertaining as opposed to obnoxious (which is probably a more accurate description). In fact, one of my friends and I enjoy this pastime so much that we developed the “Hey Lady/Hey Pal” game. The rules are simple. The joke must be unexpected, sexual in nature, and read or spoken in a typical Boston accent. The basic structure looks like this:
“Hey lady/pal, I heard you like _______. Well, I got your _________ RIGHT HERE! Yeah!”
Here is a real life example for better understanding:
Friend texts: “I’m getting dentisted right now.” (translation: I am at the dentist’s office for a routine teeth cleaning)
My response: “Hey lady, I heard you like going to the dentist. Well, I got your palette expander RIGHT HERE! Yeah!”
One more to demonstrate the female version, and because I can’t control myself:
Friend sends me a picture of a job site he is working at doing manly lumberjack stuff
Me: “Hey pal, I heard you like landscaping. Well, I’ve got a field you can plow RIGHT HERE! Yeah!”
Once the joke war has commenced, the first one to respond with anything other than a hey lady/pal joke loses.What kind of ridiculous games do you and your friends play?
- Knee-slappin Friday: the pilot (chipperthings.com)
- The Anti-Joke Cat (themanwhofellasleep.wordpress.com)
- [funny] Tell me a joke (jlake.com)