In just about seven months, a black hole will manifest itself. It is the good, non-scary kind of black hole where people of the internet will converge a la reality. That’s right people, the date was determined (pretty much by a land slide) for the Blogger Summit 2013! Hold on to your long johns people. Mine are already packed.
Jen has created a lovely official e-invite for the occasion and we are asking y’all to please RSVP if you are down like a comforter. To do so, just click here, and try not to have a stroke in eager anticipation. We want to herd as many bloggers as we can possible can into a farm of awesome for this event, and that’s where you can help. Please do us a favor and reblog, tweet, Facebook pimp, and take to the streets with megaphones to spread the word.
ALSO, we are going to attempt to make some sort of blable (logo, button, whatever you people call them) to represent the meet up and help publicize it. It will not only help spread the word but it will also be a great sidebar ornament for your blog after you survive the actual meet up. But, we need an image. Read the rest of this entry
In yesterday’s post, I revealed a secret about my disdain for sharing my music preferences with other drivers on the road, specifically at red lights. In the comments, there were a few others who expressed secrets involving music. Jillian was educating people at the same red lights, Amber was performing accidental serenades, and TBM revealed his faux music career. Sam also sings T-swift better than me, but that’s okay because much more people show interest in hearing me spit some Eminem.
Me and Slim go way back.
I vividly remember the period in my life when I was first introduced to the exquisitely crude lyrics of one of my favorite rappers. I can still smell my old 5th grade classroom and hear the sounds of me cracking pencils out of frustration over those logic puzzles. Isabella, Amy, Tony, and Michael can figure out their own damn class schedules or which gifts they gave to whom for Valentine’s Day. Shit. But this isn’t about them. This is about my favorite rapper, Mr. Marshall Mathers himself. You will be okay with this once you understand our history.
When Eminem came out with My Name Is, I remember being scared and delighted all at the same time. Scared, because I knew if I got caught singing the lyrics, “I don’t give a fuck, god sent me to piss the world off” at the impressionable age of ten, I would surely be put in jail and condemned to hell. My delight came from Eminem being my first true taste of secret rebellion. It was a simple infatuation that I couldn’t fully understand. It wouldn’t be long, however, before I was able to start understanding and appreciating the verses I was performing for the hair ribbons and stuffed animals in my closet. Read the rest of this entry
My last post bestowed upon the world can not be a repost about fucking Tuesdays. I just can’t allow that to happen. It’s pathetic. Instead I made a meme, because Jen said they are cool, and we are a power couple, so there.
If you are a logical human being, you don’t think the world will suddenly end tomorrow in a clusterfuck of literally earth shattering natural phenomenons that will eventually result in me getting into a plane with John Cusack and an amateur pilot.
I am one of those logical people (reluctantly because I have a serious lady boner for John Cusack).
This doesn’t mean, however, that I will not use the ridiculous prediction to my advantage to get away with all kinds of unacceptable behavior between now and December 22nd. You should take advantage of this too. In fact, I started last night. Here are some examples to give your mind a head-start on coming up with risky ideas. Read the rest of this entry
Who vlogs on a blog? Boundary pushers. Free thinkers. Entrepreneurs. Imbeciles. Me.
Before you click play I have a few last words. I intended for the vlog to be more professional. I wanted it to have more jokes and music. I also wanted it to be highly pixelated and choppy at some points, because that is considered arty. I wanted it to be arty.
Just kidding. I lost “my” internet connection after the first recording session and had to resort to recording the last few bits on my Iphone. That may be pathetic, and I probably just gave you all a reason to label me as cheap, but I see this as a courageous move. I could have quit and left you all hanging. I could have thrown my computer off of the third story balcony. But I didn’t, so here is what resulted. It went okay.
That move was for you
Billy Zane Aneroidocean. Did you really think I was going to put on my tutu?
So again, the winners were:
Katie – SLP_Echo
Jon - Brother Jon
I will e-mail you all later today letting you know how you can get in touch with Timmer to let him know how you would like to be illustrated. I wish you could all be in the banner. I assume that would take Tim quite some time, and then he wouldn’t be able to go drunk fountain splashing with me. So we can’t do that. Congrats to the winners and thank you to everyone who participated. As if I haven’t said it enough.
Also, I added the page I spoke about at the top of my blog titled “Movember 2012″. I will be working on the blurbs about the winners to complete that page. In the meantime, everyone can go read an end of Movember post by Emily of The Waiting over at ACOF.
- Bloggers for Movember – A Final Recap (clownonfire.wordpress.com)
- Movember, movember… (primroseblog.wordpress.com)
- 25toFly Movember Drawing Contestant List (25tofly.com)
A few weeks ago I moved into a new office. It is shiny, and I got to buy an office chair. I felt like such a pimp. An office supply pimp.
With new offices comes new responsibilities. It also comes with a little bit of celebratory seven layer dip that I may have eaten half of before bringing to the office. While we have enough dip to last us until next Cinco de Mayo, what we don’t have is a copy machine. I need to make copies. I am a big deal. Plus, copies are important, vital to business, and something about the bottom line.
In order to make copies I have to venture across a street to my company’s original building. I could probably walk. I certainly could drive my car. But, that’s not how we new-office-dwellers roll. This is how we roll:
All of this is wonderful news, right? Yes, but let me get to the point. In order to
crash drive into the main building with this pimpmobile, you have to drive through an area that requires that safety glasses and a hard hat be worn.
If you have read Why I Am Here, you are getting an A+. I am not sure on what, but it’s an honor, okay? If you read it, you would also know that I don’t own a hard hat. “Sadly”. Today, that has changed. Today, I must edit every bio I have ever released into the wild of the internet (because they are all the same). Today, I am legit. Read the rest of this entry