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She Likes The D
D as in Detroit of course.
I’m on a boat plane.
I could write a long post detailing every little thing I did while in the Detroit area. I could brag about my sweet Red Wings shirt Adam got me hooked up with, or cringe at all of the cereal Adam eats, but you would probably only get half way through reading before your Monday distracted you. So, instead I am going to give you an action packed and easy reading list of all the enchanted and bewildering things I experienced on my trip. You know, the highlights.
I also developed a game for you AND included ANOTHER video. Hold on to your desk. Here we go!
1. I sat by a gentleman named Dallas on my flight to Dallas. Coincidence? I think not.
2. “Helen” cut me off after my third Jack Daniel’s on my second flight. Apparently I was “done.”
3. Adam told me I smelled like a hobo when I got off of the plane, but then I used my hair to mesmerize him. Funny how hobo changes very quickly into fairy princess with one good hair flip.
4. I learned, reluctantly, that turning left on red is a apparently a thing in Michigan. Supposedly. Maybe.
5. It’s a lot easier to take pictures of people sleeping on planes than one would think:
So delicate.
So serene.
6. Planes can do the Harlem Shake too when given the right amount of youarenevergettinghome style weather.
7. Michigan Toys R Us’s are sexist.
Kids these days have it all.
8. Drinking at high altitudes is good for the creative brain. This is how I came up with a little game. It is the opposite of laying on the grass and making pictures of the clouds. It is sitting in a plane and making pictures of the ground.
Example:
Everything’s bigger in Texas. That’s not really Texas.
Here is one for you to try!
Can you find any peens?
9. I had to spend a night in Dallas on the way back from my trip as you know. During that night, some shit went down.
- Two women who looked to be members of some bizarre cleaning lady gang tried to swipe my iphone right out of my hands. All I wanted was a light. Sheesh.
- I would have spent the night in a hotel located conveniently in between two strip clubs and over thirty minutes from the airport had it not been for a savior in a Holiday Inn Express uniform who picked me up at just the right time.
- The video you are about to watch happened.
Disclaimer: this video contains a person in the state of extreme delirium.
\
10. I learned a lot more about the handsome Adam. I even chose to look past his sick cereal addiction. We all have our vices. Thank you Adam for being a lovely host, an excellent Clue player, and for showing me the best parts of the D.
D As in Detroit.
Thanks Adam!
See Adam’s take on me and the D here.
Call Me Tom Hanks
Because that’s who I feel like right now. Tired and ragged, as I sit in terminal B after a long night of unlucky and then seriously lucky events, I could easily make my own version of The Terminal mashed with a little slice of Castaway (by the looks of my hair and the fact that I have taken up friendship with the only item of real value that I have in my carry on – my blow dryer).
Being that I was stranded in Dallas, TX last night, I didn’t want to take any chances of missing my flight this morning. So, naturally I stayed up until almost three AM, made weird videos of myself, and ate a questionable vending machine dinner that I washed down with room temperature beer to ensure that I would look and feel ravishing this morning. I also wanted to make it to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Which I did. And am now regretting in between consciousness. I’ll get back to you on the feeling ravishing part.
Here is the thing. I have to come clean. I didn’t write a post while I was cruising the clouds like Mario on some secret level, so I am making up for it now. Don’t fret though Flysters, I have about twenty posts worth of pictures, videos, and stories for you if you give me some time to recoup from my worst flight scenario ever. Plus, considering that I highly underestimated my Jack Daniels to plane-laziness ratio… it is for the best that no post was brewed.
In the meantime, I have two things for you to check out.
1. Stop by Brother Jon’s blog today. He has rallied some outstanding bloggers to send out some sweet messages to his brother and friends. Why is this important? Seek and you shall find. (Also, he extended such a generous helping hand to me late last night when I was in a panic at the airport that he deserves a huge nod of appreciation. Man, y’all are seriously good people).
2. Speaking of Mario, check out my intense reunion with him at Adam’s apartment in Detroit. More to come on part two of our IRL saga. Hold on to your butts!
Today is the last day to vote for the Badass Blogger Awards! So much excite!
Related articles
- Tom Hanks Hoards Typewriters, and Other News (theparisreview.org)
- Tom Hanks took steroids to cure cold (contactmusic.com)
Draw Your Life: Part Two
Here is part two of the Draw Your Life video I posted last week. Beware of cheese.
Now for some important news!
1. There will be a new article written by yours truly on The Indie Chicks tomorrow! I will be tweeting the link and sharing it on Facebook and all of that good stuff. You know what to do! Oh, and while you are there, if you have a moment to vote for me for the Funniest Blog and/or Funniest Vlog categories of their Badass Blogger Contest I will give you a kidney. It’s all good, I have two. I don’t care if you don’t need one, it’s yours.
2. I am off to travel again in about ten days, so you might not see much of me in the next couple of weeks. Now that I have quit my job to become a hippy, what better thing to do first than to travel the country side, right? But where am I going? Any guesses?
3. The Blogger Summit is well underway. There are some exciting things going on behind the scenes. Upon my return, expect to be delivered some updates!
Thanks again for watching/reading/commenting/hopefully not crying.
Related articles
- Go Home Fear, You’re Drunk (25tofly.com)
- Draw Your Life (25tofly.com)
- Life Drawing (georgiamacguire.wordpress.com)
Safari
In honor of my 200th post on this blog, I treated myself to a Safari. In the exotic land of Shreveport, LA at a remote location. My parents’ house. Enjoy.
Remember this guy? I found out he is not alone…
With all of that bling, how can a monkey look so sad?
Ordinary Boston
I am not one to let news tragedies affect me and certainly not the ridiculous media coverage that accompanies them, but the Boston Marathon bombing really jarred me. I’ve never felt such hopelessness in humanity. I cried on and off the whole day. What you are about to read is a re-post from almost a year ago about my first experience with traveling out of the south as an adult. It’s about the city of Boston as a place that holds special importance to me. It is a place where I conquered multiple fears at once, where I ejected myself from my comfort zone, and where I took risks. It is just such a stunning place, and in light of recent events, I just want to share this piece again. Thanks for reading.
The Stoop
I attempt frugality. As well, I pride myself in my research abilities (most of the time). So, when looking for a place to stay in Boston, I luckily found a steal of a crash pad. The place my friend Ellen and I stayed was The Copley House in the Back Bay area of Boston. After my friend in the area convinced me that it was in a safe area and conveniently located in the center of the attractions, I eagerly made a booking.
Instead of a full-blown generic hotel, each room they offered was an individual and unique apartment. After checking in to the main office on Newton St., we drove to our unit around the corner on a different street. Key in hand, we pulled up and grabbed our bags out of the bed of the truck. As I used my key to turn the old rim dead bolt, I felt like I was in a movie scene yet again. You know, the one where I am a successful full-time writer entering her humble city dwelling.
I almost feel like I am cheating readers by making such a lackluster claim, but the apartment we shacked up in was one of my favorite parts of the trip. I am so glad we did not opt for a cookie cutter corporate hotel. Not only would we have spent a fortune, leaving us little money for gorging Lobster and drowning ourselves in Irish car bombs, but the whole experience would have been completely different; think way less traditional character and a lot more generic plastic key card. Read the rest of this entry
Without Chains
I am so cliché right now: barely touching my Japanese takeout, wearing work out pants that I mainly wear when I am not working out, and sitting on the faux wood floor of my soon to be ex apartment. It’s every bit a scene out of a familiar movie. It mimics that one montage scene in which the main character is making some sort of significant transition; picture clips of furniture slowly disappearing from a dwelling as the main character is going through a very obvious and dramatic emotionally reflective period. There is usually some heavy sound track playing in the background for added effect.
Shit. I have my Ipod playing in the back ground right now, and I am sitting on the floor all aloof. Can you surpass cliché? What would that be called?
Although my dumplings are cold, I have to admit that the sound of my favorite Pandora radio station reverberating between my scant living room walls actually feels comforting. It is a good thing I also have 7 layer dip to counteract the cold take-out. I should just go ahead and start making origami piñatas while I am at it. After all, all of my entertaining gadgets are stacked like a failed game of Tetris into a bunch of overpriced boxes at the moment.
This is the best I can do.
There is something incredibly relieving about freeing yourself from material belongings. Read the rest of this entry
Time to RSVP for Blogger Summit 2013!
In just about seven months, a black hole will manifest itself. It is the good, non-scary kind of black hole where people of the internet will converge a la reality. That’s right people, the date was determined (pretty much by a land slide) for the Blogger Summit 2013! Hold on to your long johns people. Mine are already packed.
Don’t forget to bring your chargers.
Jen has created a lovely official e-invite for the occasion and we are asking y’all to please RSVP if you are down like a comforter. To do so, just click here, and try not to have a stroke in eager anticipation. We want to herd as many bloggers as we can possible can into a farm of awesome for this event, and that’s where you can help. Please do us a favor and reblog, tweet, Facebook pimp, and take to the streets with megaphones to spread the word.
ALSO, we are going to attempt to make some sort of blable (logo, button, whatever you people call them) to represent the meet up and help publicize it. It will not only help spread the word but it will also be a great sidebar ornament for your blog after you survive the actual meet up. But, we need an image. Read the rest of this entry
Blogger Summit Update #2
Nine days. It had been nine whole days since I had so much as looked at the “add new” post button before I wrote my blogiversary post yesterday. Nine days in internet time is equal to about nine months in real-time. I could have had a blog baby for all you know. Don’t get any ideas, I wasn’t off making blabies. What I was doing was visiting with an incredible blogger from the Motor City. You probably know him as Adam from My Right to Bitch, The Artist Formerly Known as My Right to Bitch, or more recently Live From Motor City or maybe just that hilarious drummer dude that I was lucky enough to virtually drink fake sake with that one time.
All shoe laces are belong to Jack.
That’s right, he drove himself insane all the way down here to Louisiana to hang out, help me fix my poorly assembled bar stools (ten cool points for anyone who remembers this old ass post), drink beers with me and introduce Jack to the joys of chewing gum. The experience was well deserving of an Adamesque rock hand \m/ to say the least! And, in case you were wondering, he is just as attractive in person. Read the rest of this entry
